I believe they call this a "bad omen"

Have you ever walked out your front door to be greeted with this? If this isn't a bad omen I don't know what is. As I have told many of you last night I was rudely awoken by the sound of bubbling water coming from my toilet, a place you never want to hear something of that nature. The tub revealed something much worse, sewage. Yes, I said sewage. It went back down but chose to return yesterday afternoon causing me to leave work in a tirade in case my cute house was being defiled by the "s" word.

A man is currently here attempting to rectify this sewage situation and has decided to do so from the roof. Let me tell you I am just as confused as you. I was under the impression that water pipes lived underground deep beneath our feet not aloft. My audio post, while totally inaudible, (which I realize) is documentation of what can only be described as a Wizard of Oz like witch crushing tornado, big mamba jomba pipe ass kicking. It pretty much sounds like my house is about to fall down.

After three hours of cleaning our pipes I received TWO lectures, one from my landlord and another from the rooter dude about what can and cannot go down a toilet. During both lectures I was advised not to put paper towels down the crapper. Who does that?! As it turns out the previous tenant put all of her baby wipes in the john, ergo, my night of literal crappiness.