"wishing i was somehow there again"

Do You Segway?

I was doing pretty much everything I could think of today to not make my Powerpoint presentation about how to safely regulate the temperature and moisture content of a chained library (still there? did that put you to sleep yet?) when I came across a Segway tour of Amsterdam. I really wanted to go on one when I visited the W's in Balboa, but was informed it was quite an expensive day of ridiculousness. Well, I looked into it and apparently Balboa isn't the only place ripping off people. It costs 60 euros to go on a Segway tour of Amsterdam! At a loss about this I decided to visit the Segway website to see how much these mothers are. They had an option to "build your own Segway" so I clicked and made my own that will set me back a mere 5 grand! It's times like these I wish I was rich so I could buy a fleet of Segways and start leading people around West Dean for 60 pounds a pop.

Say Hello to my Little Friend

Every night when Catherine, Sonia and I meet up for our evening ritual of coffee and hot chocolate Sonia boils a kettle to fill her hot water bottle with. It is not an ordinary hot water bottle as it has its own cashmere cover (she only does cashmere, nothing else). Well tonight Catherine and I broke down and ordered our own cashmere hot water bottles. Mine is green and Catherine's is pink. I never thought I could get this excited about a rubber bottle with its own sweater.

Unable to Swallow Properly

I just choked on my own spit. If someone died from choking on their own spit what would their tomb stone say?

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Graphic Designer, Good time Gal, Always hydrated

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Mario Kart Novice, Whale Expert, Salivary Gland Victim

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Taller than Bridget, Shorter than Adam, Not smart enough to swallow

Evolution of a Nickname

This weekend I was introduced to the most famous member of the Willy family (other than Ryan)...Wendy. I arrived and was instantly given a walk on roll on the Wendy show and gladly accepted.

On Sunday night we played a game of "Ooder Deeder" also known as Up the River Down the River and I was able to see the evolution of a nickname take place.

Here's how it started and where it ended:
Kristi (actual name)
K-town (too confusing)
Crisco (not my favorite)
Cristo
Monte Cristo
Monte

That's right in two hours I went from being a city, to a tub of animal fat, to a place (or a sandwich), and finally I ended up being an 80 year old man wearing suspenders and a comb over. Amazing!

Text Message Diary June 20th

10:05pm - "So sorry man. That's total bullshit."

11:42pm - I dont think i would marry any of them...Well maybe dwayne wade because hes a balla"
(in response to me saying I would gladly marry Dirk)

12:06am - Shit!!! f f f Shit.

12:19am - F. Im so sad. Mffl. We got a young good team and we aint leavin any time soon. Half the heat team should retire. Mffl.

Conversation from a dinner party with Voldemort:

Voldemort: This is interesting, what kind of mushrooms are these?
Kristi: Shitoki
Voldemort: Interesting
Kristi: So what have you been up to lately?
Voldemort: Oh same old same old. Trying return to my celebrity status, but as usual getting crapped on all the way.
Kristi: Sorry man.
Voldemort: No worries, I'm working on a new plan to update my image. Maybe I should hook up with Lindsay Lohan or I could break up Britney Spears marriage and father her child.
Kristi: She's already pregnant again.
Voldemort: Damnit.

Congratulations you're white!

Katy and I had our first session yesterday. I use the word session loosly beacuse she is neither a psychiatrist or a mental health professional of any kind. She IS however, the owner of an interesting book called The Color Code. I've taken these color tests several times but it is always fun to take them again. Turns out I am mostly white and blue...a true Mavs fan to the core as you can see. Some noted celebrities that also have these color personalities are Michael Jackson (scary), Jimmy Carter, Abraham Lincoln, Einstein, Princess Diana and Walt Disney. I gotta say that is quite the array of people.

According to the website whites are motivated by PEACE. They seek independence and require kindness. They resist confrontation at all costs. To them, feeling good is more important than being good. (how did they know that?) They are typically quiet by nature, process things very deeply and objectively with great clarity. Of all the colors, WHITES are the best listeners. They respect people who are direct but recoil from perceived hostility or verbal battle. (this is getting freaky)

WHITES need their "alone time" and refuse to be controlled by others. (couldn't be more true) WHITES want to do things their own way and in their own time. They ask little of others and resent others demanding much of them. WHITES are much stronger than people think, but are not often seen for their strength because they don't easily reveal their feelings. WHITES are even-tempered, diplomatic, and the voice of reason; but can also be indecisive, unexpressive, and silently stubborn. (wow, these color people are freaking amazing!) When others interact with you, as a WHITE you respond to them best if they are kind, accepting and supporting of your individuality, and if they look for non-verbal clues to understand your feelings.

I love grill. Grill. Grill. Grill.

All hail the grill. Yesterday felt like summer outside and to celebrate I made an entire meal on a grill. I am a major fan of "los grill" now and plan to grill all week long. So far I've done chicken, corn, and potatoes, and I plan on grilling anything I can think of over the next couple days. Suggestions welcome.

The actual grilling started off a little rocky. When I turned on the gas Jackie didn't quite get the match in the grill to ignite it....and the gas kept going, which made me a little worried. BUT with one rather large poof of flames the week of grilling began. The only other mishap that happened was one of the pieces of chicken fell through the grill, sad but true. I'll be sure to document this week of grilling more thoroughly from now on.

Say hello to my little friend.

This weekend Jackie and I went and test rode a LOT of bikes. Maybe not a whole lot but at least 5 each, which is 5 more than I've been on in the last 10 years. Not gonna lie the first one I got on I nearly crashed three times, it was pretty scary, but like the saying goes "it's like riding a bike" so i figured it out.

does it look like i'm "hitn' that"?

This is me. As you can see I will not be "hitn'" anything today.....unless you count face to keyboard.

"It's not like I "o-pah-ed" her plate"

This blog is dedicated to Kristin's broken movie plate, for which we are all sad is gone. I would like to take a moment to reflect on the plate, whom I will call "chipper." Let me take this time to provide a dramatic reading in honor of chipper. It is entitled:

"Miss Me, But Let Me Go"

When I come to the end of the road,
and the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a plate set free?
Miss me a little—but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low.
Remember the food I allowed you to share.
Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take, and each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the potter's plan, a step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart, go to the friends we know.
Bear your sorrow in good deeds (and baked goods for Kristi). Miss me, but let me go.

Let us all remember chipper and the good deeds he used to perform. Remember the snacks, the salads, sandwiches, egg toast, and stolen bagels he used to gently hold. Remember chipper, but let him go.

Peace be with you in this time of mourning.

Two Jacks, a crooked puppet, and a knocked up chick

In reply to Jenny's amazing blog I couldn't help myself and I had to take all the same quizzes so we could do a comparative study. After going through all 15 (Jenny that is out of control) I too have decided that these quizzes are CRAP!

Quiz 1: Which Saved by the Bell character are you?
If you recall Jenny was Lisa Turtle. I too have reeived that answer. Apparently i love gossip, buys and shopping and demand being treated like the princess I think I am. (not gonna lie, all of that is a little true) "All girls are princesses!"

Quiz 2: Which Seinfeld character are you?
Jenny: Elaine
Kristi: Jerry! I am the STAR of the show! I am a stand-up comedian who spends his life dwelling on the excrutiating minutae of everday life. You live in apartment 5A at 129 W. 81st St. in New York City and you have a knack for finding very strange friends.
**I have a feeling I received this answer because my answer to the question:
Q: How long would you last in a contest, that measured how long you could go without ... gratifying yourself?
A: You could outlast anyone out of sure will and spite.

Quiz 3: Which Simpsons Character are you? This is where it goes severely down hill.
Jenny was Abe Simpson, I believe I have surpassed her in crappyness. I am Edna Krabappel. While she has a sweet last name that rivals, McGooglebie, I gotta say, crap answer!

Quiz 4: Which 24 Character are you?
Jenny: Kim suck Bauer
Kristi: Jack Bauer! H yes! (that's gotta be wrong)

Quiz 5: Which Lost character are you?
Jenny: Kate
Kristi: Jack! Again, H yes!
You are Jack. Self-appointed hero and doctor extraordinaire, it's your job to save everyone. You have little time for fun and games, but you do like a good stiff drink every now and then. You prefer your stitches black and have been known to make gross pasta comparisons. And if anyone needs CPR or a tracheotomy, you're the correct person to go to. While I could do the CPR or the trach, not so sure about the whole hero part or saving everyone. BUT, a girl can dream.

Quiz 6: Which 90210 character are you?
Jenny: Donna
Kristi: Aundrea....crap. She got knocked up...plus she was like 30 playing a 18 year old. This does not look good.

Quiz 7: Which OC character are you?
Jenny: Jimmy Cooper (that's hilarious)
Kristi: Anna Stern....crap. She's not even on the show anymore! Although she did get to make out with Seth, so props to her.

Quiz 8: Which Boy Meets World character are you?
Jenny: Mrs. Matthews
Kristi: Cory. At this point I'm starting to think that either A. I'm a compulsive quiz question lier B. I rig the answers or C. I am obsessed with myself and must be the center of attention. The quiz said everything revolves areound what you do. You know what it takes to live a life of goodness but are sometimes tripped up by your friends and your own misunderstanding. You get into trouble but you know that good will come out of it. You are probably very smart but a little lazy (so true). You have a heart of gold, but you let your feelings get the best of you sometimes. Your best friend is Shawn. You do everything you can to make sure that your there for them, just as you probably are for your best friend. A nice little summery I must say.

Quiz 9: Which cereal are you?
Jenny: Honey Smacks
Kristi: Total....can't get much crappier than that

Quiz 10: Which rapper are you?
Jenny: Eminem
Kristi: Nelly
"You are a pimp/pimpette in every sense of the word, not very hardcore but you have mad skills and a ton of talent." Mad skills, likin' that.

Quiz 11: Which Disney mobster are you?
Jenny: Woody
Kristi: Crooked Sheriff Woody....not good. Apparently I used to be an honest cop, but I am now on the mob's payroll (which means Mr. Potato Head was right, I am a back-stabbing murder).

Quiz 12: Which fast food chain are you?
Jenny: Taco Bell
Kristi: also Taco Bell, apparently Taco Bell is an independent thinker who doesn't worry about what other people think. Who knew Taco Bell was so independent.

Quiz 13: Which old school basketball player are you?
Jenny: MJ
Kristi: MJ, seriously that quiz was way too predictable.

Quiz 14: Which Pride and Prejudice character are you:
Jenny: Jane
Kristi: Kitty Bennet. You are loud and somewhat scandalous, though not as much as your sister Lydia. You like men (a lot) but know where to draw the line. Unfortunately, because of your sister's actions, you are constantly screwed over and looked down upon. Poor, poor Kitty. Stupid Lydia.

Quiz 15: Which Laguna Be: ach character are you?
Jenny: LC...lucky.
Kristi: Christina-you're pure and talented, but often give the impression of being two-faced. Sad.

Ok, that is a ridiculously long entey so I'm cutting myself off.