Saturday, December 30, 2006

ready or not here I come

This afternoon I brought out my inner child by playing hide and go seek with Kate. It was unlike any challenge I have ever undertaken. After counting to the specified number of 22 I would go and look for her through the house. The best part was that after looking for less than one minute I would hear "I'm in Jill's room!". It was awesome! Man that girl is funny!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

No Bull

The other day I decided to take a walk around the block (our block is 1.5 miles) to get some fresh air and enjoy the 70 degree Texas weather. I took the time to pet several horses from different pastures as I went and was lucky enough to have one follow me along the fence because it liked me so much. As I got closer to the main enterance to our neighborhood I heard two bulls from different pastures screaming at one another. One bull had horns and the other was the size of Sloth from Goonies. Needless to say walking between the two pastures where these two were facing off was a little scary...and matters became much worse when the horned beast noticed me and started following me along the fence while charging and mooing at me. It was at this point that I decided animals on the whole do not like me.

Exhibit A - The charging pecking chicken previously mentioned in another post

Exhibit B - The goose that charged me at a pub in Portsmouth

Edhibit C - Los Bull who also charged me and would have killed me had the fence not been there.

It is for the three above reasons that I have decided to place charging animals with a mean disposition on my "dead to me list". Take that suckas!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

1 Year Annaversery!

Well one year and two days ago today I joined the blogosphere. And you what promped the whole thing to start? I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia with Annalise and Kelly and before the show started Annalise went to buy a package of Red Vines (crazy deliscious). As Kelly and I were sitting there somehow we got on the topic of blogs and what they were. At the end of the conversation I still had no idea what a blog was and decided to check it out the next day at work. In a last stitch effort to fill my day with something to do at I started a blog to unload my meaningless deivle on others. Thus my blog was born.

It's been an amazing investment of time and typing skills, google skills, photoshop skills and occasionally list making skills. In an effort to keep up on those skills I decided to make a couple lists, none of which have much relevance to one another.

Top 8 post titles:
8. Jolly Bunch of A**holes
7. All I want for Christmukkah is a Bar Mitz-vahkkah
6. Two Jacks, a crooked puppet, and a knocked up chick
5. does it look like i'm "hitn' that"?
4. "It's not like I "o-pah-ed" her plate"
3. The cackle of a man who's ankle should be broken.
2. I love lists. Lists, lists, lists
1. You bring your baby, I'll bring my dog and we'll meet at PetsMart. (thanks J)

8 Favorite British-isms
1. Pleased as punch: so happy you could drink a whole lot of punch
2. Nackered: to be shattered
3. Shattered: to be nackered
4. Foofle: to mess around and waste time
5. Two bites of a cherry: doing something the hard way
6. fagging winger: what Sonia says when she's trying to say wagging finger
7. Twit: jerk...but so much better
8. Tosser: glorified twit

3 nicknames I have received recently
Nursie Nurseberg
Bossie Bossberg
Drunkie Drunkberg (don't worry I wasn't drunk)
This game goes on and on with my name these days, it's really pretty funny.

One year of post reading and this is what I reward you, my readership with....I'm so sorry.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Call for Entries

A week from today is the West Dean Christmas party. It's "fancy dress" also known as a costume party in American. The theme is the 1920's or murder mystery...the theme keeps changing, but I'm sure if I came dressed as either of those it would be ok. I was planning on going as Velma from Scooby-Doo, however I have not been able to locate a short red wig...and as it turns out she doesn't wear the outfit I thought she I don't have the right clothes anyway. In short the plan is crap and not gonna happen. So basically I have no costume and no plan and no other great idea for what to wear. In this time of need I am turning to you, my readership to help me solve this problem, or atleast give me some new ideas as my reservoir has run dry.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Happy Sint Nicholaas Day!

Last night Catherine, Jenny, Sonia, Harm and I gathered together next to the roaring fire in the Oak Hall for a night of Dutch tradition. In Holland they celebrate Sint Nicholaas day on the 6th of December. On the night of December 5th children put their wooden shoes in front of the chimney with a carrot or hay for Sint Nicholaas' horse. The next day the shoes have a little gift if the child has been good and salt & pepper if they were naughty. It is also tradition to receive the first letter of your name made of chocolate, Harm was lucky enough to receive a H and a J from his family.
Catherine got Harm a tiny hammer and Sonia and I got him a bottle of tomato ketchup. Harm LOVES tomato ketchup and never ceases to amaze me with his new uses of the condiment. We decided to wrap them in about 20 layers of paper, boxes and bags to make things a little more fun.

Chocolate letters are hard to find in England so he gave each of us a little bag of chocolates from Montazuma's (a really good chocolate shop). We all sat around enjoying one anther's company eating traditional Dutch biscuits, candies and crisps for an hour or so. The whole evening was gorgeous (and now I can't wait for Christmas).

Thursday, November 30, 2006

A moment I probably should have had a long time ago

I have never been in a position where I was receiving pressure from people to drink....until now. Last night I was sitting with some friends in the Stewards Bar (the bar in the college) and a fellow student kept asking me if I wanted a drink. I kept replying no, and then he said something that made me think.

If I continue to not drink and then gave it a try later in life would i look back on my 20's or 30's and think I had missed out on something?

It's questions like that one that worry me, because my brain started whirling around and I can't make it stop.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Chip & Lundges

Yesterday Harm, Catherine and I went on a little trip to Brighton (a city that is a 45 minute drive away). Brighton is a beautiful city by the sea with lots of cute colorful streets filled with shopping and restaurants. We had a wonderful day there eating cake and strolling the streets window shopping, basically enjoying one anothers company. I had to go to Rachel's (a girl from the books program) for Thanksgiving dinner so we set off around 4pm to get back for dinner at 5pm (I was planning on being fashionably late). Well after a train, another train that was delayed due to "youth causing mayhem", a third train, a bus (which almost ran us over), a little hail, another delayed train and a taxi we were finally back in Westdeania. It took us 3.5 hours to get home! And to top it all off once we were back in Chichester I slipped on a greasy chip causing me to rein act a move from Flashdance. It was awesome.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Dream Dream Dream

I've been having really weird dreams lately. One involving me and Jenny roller skating in the rain in London. Another where I was in a military training camp with a girl called Sarah and she was making me blow a whistle that would give away my position. And finally last night I was asleep for maybe 45 minutes and I screamed a little whimper of a scream and woke myself up. I had no idea what the hell happened. I think my brain needs some conserving.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Pretty Stuff

Last night Harm was working on his essay in the computer suite while I chatted with Annalise and distracted Catherine from working on her essay. At the end of the evening Harm told me what his favorite English words are pretty and stuff. He had made this decision because they are words that have so many uses. It was at this moment that I decided I couldn't agree more...not to mention the fact that I was so proud of him making that decision as Catherine and I try to use those two words as much as humanly possible in life. Well done.
Today I told my friend Jenny about the BYU honor code...something I did NOT want to ever talk to people about. After explaining what's in said code her exact words were, "i can't even wrap my mind around that."
It's moments like these that I realize how strange our religion can really be.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I decided to check up on the news today in an effort to stay connected with the US of A. This was one of the top stories on

Here's a teaser in case you don't want to click through: "There’s a California sea lion that’s either brain damaged — or frisky."

Looks like I'm not missing too much.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

James Morrison

I'm not sure if this guy is big in the states yet, but just wanted to give you a heads up. James Morrison...I'm a big fan. To learn more go here. I also found a podcast on iTunes with more about him and a better listen to his music, but I don't think the album is on the USA iTunes store yet. I really like "Wonderful World", the video is on his website. Enjoy.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Birthday Stuff

Well another year older. As many of you know I am now 25, some would say a quarter of a century. (actually many many people did say that to me) All in all it was a great birthday. The first 9 hours pretty much sucked, but the last last 5 made all the difference. I spent the entire day on my birthday making a knife used to thin down leather. We're talking 9 hours of grinding down a piece of STEEL in order to make a knife! It was a really really hard day that was made better by an amazing cake at tea time given to me by Sonia. After all the knife sharpening Sonia, Catherine, Harm and I went to and Indian restaurant for dinner. It was VERY needed. My hands hurt so bad from rubbing the metal on the stone all day, and I actually developed a twitch in my thumb for a couple days. But anyway, dinner was really good and we took our sweet time eating it and chatting about Sonia's amazing life.

After dinner we met up at the Sesly Arms for a drink with some other people and then I got to go home and talk to Kristin on the phone.

The picture above is a little summery of what I got for my birthday. Catherine gave me the cute green mug filled with hot chocolate, Jenny made me the amazing origami flowers, Sonia gave me some Poppycock and Harm made me a strop with my name carved on it. (a strop is used to sharpen knives) The cool looking curly wood is the "ribbon" Harm put on the wrapping. It was so cute. All in all an amazing birthday.

Every night me Sonia and Catherine end our day with a cupa something. I usually choose a hot chocolate, Sonia usually has a cappuccino, and Catherine has a "malt beverage" that is traditionally given to children to help with sleeping. This beverage is called Horlicks.....HOR----LICKS. Is it just me or does that sound like porno flick?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Bookie Open Workshop

Every workshop in the college has an open day during the year to invite other students to come in and see what you're working on. Yesterday we (the bookies) had our open workshop.

It's basically an excuse to drink and munch on snacks and see a little bit of our work. People came around to each work bench and got to hear all about exotic things like Japanese hinge repairs, and crossed structures. I set up a sewing frame for people to have a go at sewing on cords which went pretty well...the finished book wasn't something to write home about but at least people got to have some hands on experience. All in all it was a good night. It's always interesting that people want to know about what we're doing because to us it seems so boring, but lots of people came around and asked questions and seemed interested. I'm pretty sure the free booze had something to do with this interest, they gotta repay us somehow.

Anyway, I thought this picture was great, and I figured it was time to start slowly introducing you to the people I work with, and now I have a picture of pretty much everyone. This is Patrick, a very funny chap who sits on the opposite side of the room as me . I took the Calligraphy short course with him last week and got in trouble a couple times for laughing during the lecture because of the comments he was making. So there you go one down, 8 to go.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Yooooour Daaaaaalaaaas Mavericks!!!!!!!

I took a chance and decided to visit the Mavs website my complete approval this is what I saw:I have never wanted to be in Dallas more. Mavs v Spurs! Mavs fans! Crazy crazy Mavs fans! I love you and miss you sooooo much.

Dear Mavs,

Kick some ass tonight.


Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Show and Tell

I took a calligraphy course this weekend where I learned how to write the lower case letters in an old typeface called Foundational. I realized it's tough writing in calligraphy when you're left handed mainly because you have to write like you're right handed to make it look right. Anyway just wanted to share that with ya'll.

I would also like to thank Kristin for sending me a kick-a package containing Halloween candy, a sweet card, and my evening entertainment for the next couple days. AND it arrived on Halloween! Brilliant.

Kristin I salute you! I'm pleased as punch.

Friday, October 27, 2006


Last night a bunch of us went out to a pub in Liss and played skittles! For those of you unwilling to click through to the link let me give you a run down of what this rainbow coated candy game is. It's basically the father of bowling, except there are 9 "skittles" (or pins) that are wooden and you throw a much smaller ball down the unwaxed lane to knock them down. You get three rolls and if you knock down all of the skittles before your third roll the skittles get put back up so you can have a possible high score of 27 points per turn. (this never happens, but it COULD if you were an exceptional skittler)

As for me my first try I only got 3 points for my team, as in I only knocked down three pins, that's an average of 1 pin per roll. (I'm real good at math). Or in other words I suck at skittles. There were about 16 people on each team so that meant loads of down time between turns and the opportunity to fill up on drinks and chatting. By my third try I was up to 6 skittles so things turned out pretty well. All in all a great evening. I'll be sure to post more of the skittling pictures asap because Sonia got some good ones.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Dream Dream Dream

Have you ever had a dream that was so real you expected it to be that way when you woke up. Last night I had a dream that Megan was alive and that her death was a really mean joke. I'm not telling you this to make you sad or feel bad for me or anything like that. It's just that I haven't told anyone at West Dean about her and I can't bare to tell people, but I needed to tell someone about that because it was so unreal. Anyway, I woke up thinking I would be in Plano or at my parents house and it was so strange. Just had to get that off my chest.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Meet n' Greet

I figured all of you would want to see the people I'm always talking about, so here they are:
This is Harm:
Ok, here's what he actually looks like:
And this is Catherine:
I don't actually have a picture of Sonia so I'll have to work on that. There are a couple other people I usually hang out with, but I never seem to have my camera when they are around. I'll have to work on that.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

A Trip to Fishbourne

Today me, Catherine, Sonia and Harm went on a little trip to a place called Fishbourne. We left at 10 am "at the dot" as Harm says and it was pretty cool. It is the site where the Romans built bathes when they were in occupation of England. I found out how to tell if a mosaic was made by a good or poor craftsman (by how big or small the pieces are), and I also liked that when the ground moves the mosaics move in the same way. So some of them have big dips where the pieces of the mosaic just followed the movement perfectly.

All of this was great, but I think my favorite part of the day was when we all got back in the car to leave and Catherine turns to me and says in a hushed voice "Kristi..." at which point she covers up the westsus and the .com in the web address on a bag saying in order to show me the word sex. I couldn't stop laughing. Man I'm immature.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Harold & Maude

This woman named Karen...who sometimes claims she goes by KG has a movie night every week at West Dean. (First let me just mention that when she tells people her name is KG all I can think of is KG and the power of three of Mean Girls, after which I start singing All You Sucka MC's in my head and stop listening to what she's saying) But anyway, this week we watched a film called Harold & Maude and it was pretty sweet. Maybe you have already seen this one, but I wanted to share this information with you in case you hadn't.

Here is the plot outline from IMDB:

Harold is a depressed, death-obsessed 20-year-old man-child who spends his free time attending funerals and committing suicide in front of his mother, but he does not die. At a funeral, Harold befriends Maude, a 79-year-old woman who has a zest for life. She and Harold spend much time together during which she exposes him to the wonders and possibilities of life. After rejecting his mother's three attempts to set him up with a potential wife, and committing fake suicide in front of all of them, Harold announces that he is to be married to Maude. However, Maude has a surprise for Harold that is to change his life forever.

I realize this movie sounds a little morbid and freaky, but it's hilarious. It's kind of a dark humor type of film, but it's really funny if you don't take it too seriously. If you can find it I suggest you check it out.


Sunday, October 15, 2006

Slip Slidin' Away

Well yesterday I finally got my lazy butt up in time to go into London. This slide is a current exhibit in the Tate Modern. It is the work of Carsten Höller who I believe is German. He used this quote by the French writer Roger Caillois who described sliding as a ‘voluptuous panic upon an otherwise lucid mind’. Höller askes these two questions about slides: How might a daily dose of sliding affect the way we perceive the world? Can slides become part of our experiential and architectural life?

Well Carsten I say h yes, bring on the slides. Had the queue not been five miles long I would have gladly taken a trip down the slides to see how my perception of the world was changed.

I love London. When I'm not there I miss it every once in a while, but going back yesterday just brought memories flooding back and made me wish I was living in the city. Don't get me wrong, I love West Dean...who wouldn't love going to school in a castle (I know I told you guys that this place is a large British manor...that was a load of bollocks, it's a fing castle), but I just love London. I love the people rushing around, I love the smells (even the bad ones), the sounds, the crazy things you are bound to see. Take for instance my dinner which I chose to eat in Kennsington Park. While sitting on my bench I saw three different men singing to their dogs, it was pretty funny.

Yesterday I managed to visit Borough Market, walk the Thames walk, visit the Tate Modern, shop at High Street Kennsington, eat one of Ben's Cookies, walk down embassy road and have Cafe Diana while sitting in the park. All in all an amazing day. And the weird thing was the second I set foot in the Victoria tube station I felt like I lived there again, it was amazing. I know you are all tired of me talking about London and hey I can't really blame you, but I love this place and if it weren't for the lack of 32oz Diet Cokes I might stay here forever.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Dear Readership,

This morning a chicken ran straight towards me pecking. I screamed and ran. Just had to share that.


Wednesday, October 11, 2006


I received a text message from a girl in the Chichester ward on Monday inviting me to attend institute on Tuesday night at 7:30. I made a bold choice and decided to take her up on the offer and we made plans to have her pick me up at 7. The ride to the church pretty much terrified me out of ever wanting to attend this ward.

First of all last Sunday they had 20 people show up! 20! Then she told me that the average age in the ward is somewhere around 80! 80! As in 20 minutes away from taking the great dirt nap. She then went on to tell me that the ward used to be bigger but several people had died recently causing their numbers to shrink. (These are not things you say to a person who is already dreading going to church!)

So we get there and I find out that institute is me, Victoria (the girl that picked me up), and her sister....that's it. The three of us and Brother Kent, sitting around a table for an hour taking turns reading scriptures....which by the way I didn't even bring a set (oops).

The sad thing is when I arrived back at West Dean I stood around outside for 2 hours talking to a group of people that were hammered at 8:30 on a Tuesday night. I am very torn about what to do in this situation because I feel out of place with the alcoholics and the religious fanatics. Just had to put that out there. Comments and advice welcome.
Dear Jackie,

I think the winner is an American named Sara...her liver is toast.


Saturday, October 07, 2006

Week 2 of the West Dean Story

Well week two has come and gone for me and lots of things have happened, here are the main events of the week:

1. Monday and Tuesday we had lots of lectures and not much practical work. On Wednesday mornings the metal, furniture and book restoration departments combine to have a science lecture with the books tutor (aka my tutor), David. Wow! I haven't had to sit through a science lecture in a l--o--n--g time and man was it a little painful. One consolation was the fact that Rachel, a fellow student who we sometimes call "the knitter" sat there in front of David knitting a scarf or a sweater or something! Right in front of him! I would never have the balls to do that in front of a professor, good night nurse! Ok, just had to get that off my chest.

2. Wednesday I went into Chichester with Sonia in an effort to purchase a watch (because I never know what time it is) and a mirror (because there is not an electrical outlet in my bathroom and I dry my hair based on nothing but faith that it is turning out ok). After several hours of walking around I came back with a NEED to purchase the new Killers cd...which I later bought, a package of Hob Nobs, and a bottle of nail polish remover.

3. Wednesday night I went to a bar with some other students and listened to a live blues band which turned out to be quite fun.

4. Friday we took a field trip to Chichester Cathedral Library and we all got to pick some new books to work on. It was pretty amazing. I saw some of the biggest books I have ever seen in my life. We're talking bigger than that big dictionary that libraries used to have on it's own stand. Friday night I watched Everything is Illuminated with some people and once again thoroughly enjoyed it. I left a while afterwards when everyone started taking shots of absinthe.

Tomorrow I'm going to London alone which is ok with me because I can't wait to go. The question is what to do while I'm there...way too many options!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Excerpt from an email I just sent

It's weird here because most of the people in my program are older, there is only one guy younger than me and he was born in 1982, which is only a couple months younger. Here is a list of people I like to hang out with so far...

Sonia: She is SO funny, she's English but has been living in Ireland for the last 5 years. She used to restore old maps and paper so she's pretty experienced in paper stuff. She's 41, which you would think would be weird, but it isn't at all. She keeps asking me to say things like ya'll and partner it's really funny

Jenny: An american from Virginia who went to school in Washington, but I don't remember the name of the school. I guess it's a place where you don't really have to pick a major and everything is pretty free thinking...Evergreen? that might be the name I'm not sure. She studied conservation for a year in Boston as North Bennet Street School which is a really good conservation school in the states. She's 28 and really smily.

Katherine: She's studing furniture restoration and is from Ireland. She is HILARIOUS! She is always doing differend accents and her American accent is pretty good.
Ham: His name is pronounces Harrrm. He's from Holland and is slowly learning English from all of us. He is also studying furniture restoration. Sonia always makes him laugh a lot and he usually ends up having to walk away because he's laughing so much. We taught him how to say "lovely" on Saturday and us used it many times correctly...sometimes incorrectly.
Those are just a few of the people I like to hang out with so far on the course, there are many more but I can't go through all of them.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

This is the place I get to go eat breakfast in every morning...unreal.

Well my first week at West Dean has come an gone and it went fast and at the same time very slowly. It feels like I've been here for a month sometimes which is really weird. I think it's because my schedule is so rigurous here. I haven't had a schedule this structured in a long time.

I thought I would share several of my favorite moments from this week.

1. On my first night here we had a get to know you cocktail hour followed by dinner, then on to the pub in the school and finally more drinks at my dorm....I'm not in BYU anymore.

2. I didn't actually meet any of the "bookies" as we're called at the meet and greet, I somehow got caught up with the fine metal workers who are quite quiet.

3. I started working on my first project which was to reattach a coverboard to a book from the Chichester Cathedral Library that is from 1658. And I actually did it! And pretty well!

4. We took a trip to an old used book shop to get books to work on. I bought two books, on called Christie's Old Organ (I couldn't resist) and another called the Cigarette Papers, we'll see how repairing those goes.

5. We had a get to know you bbq on Friday night. I gotta say it was the second most interesting party I've been to in a while (first being the gay party with Steve). As one of the few non-drinkers I got to single handedly witness the slow steady decline in soberness. The school provides 1 bottle of wine for every two people at the school...I know, it's crazy. Anyway, the drinking started around 7pm and continued for some time, I left around 11, but I heard people out until around 1 or 2am.

6. Yesterday I went in to Chichester in the afternoon and went into WHSmith, a couple chocolate shops, Army Navy, Lush, and the Chichester Cathedral, it was a good day.

Ok, I'm done for now just wanted to give my readership an update. I miss you all!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Cause we are living in a material world

Today I went and saw Material Girls. Mostly because I miss seeing these cheesy fluff movies with my readership, but also because I love Hillary Duff and what could be better than double Duff? Ok, a lot of things, but when your dad is out of town and your mom is at work and you have a huge gaping hole in your mouth you need to pass the time somehow. I was surprised by how much Haylie Duff stole the show actually. She was pretty good. And is she older or younger than Hillary? Because in the movie she plays the older sister.

Anyway, it made me laugh and even tear up a tiny bit at one point so when it comes to the dollar theatre give it a whirl.

Monday, September 11, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, September 08, 2006

Quick Story

My mom was helping me move the wicked huge tv box filled with my crap and she says, "What's this filled with? Shoes?!"

I dropped the box and almost peed my pants.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

One Moment In Time

My mom asked me a question today.

And I quote:

"Do you think you're going to make it at West Dean?"

This is the moment I decided to go to England, become a kick-a conservator, and make conservation friends (who in no way will replace my American friends).

Side note: This makes me wonder if my mom is asking me this to make sure I'm not wasteing time and money or to get me fired up...something I tend to do when people question my abilities. Guess I'll never know, but if it's the latter it worked.

Another side note: The other girl from BYU that went to West Dean sent me a couple emails asking if 1. I wanted her to leave her cell phone, hair dryer and desk fan for me (H YES!) 2. She told me all about the amazing ward out there and how much she loved the bishop and that they are her English family (cough cough) 3. She told me she got a job at the Yale Center for British Art (HELL YES! That's amazing!!!!!)

Love you all. Miss you more than I could ever say.
Dear Readership,

I got home ok.


Wednesday, August 30, 2006

10 Reasons Why My Friends are SO Kick-A:

1. They successfully planned a surprise party that I had NO idea about.
2. They HAND MADE Big Ben and West Dean
3. They were planning to go to Cracker Barrel BEFORE I even posted my blog yesterday....see, we do go there for any reason!
4. I was greeted by Jenny in a Big Ben costume...AMAZING!
5. Annalise made a HUGE AMAZING bowl of trifle...ahh the good old days.
6. My castle was perched on rolling hills of fluffy green rug!
7. There were TWO plates of various British goodies!
8. The castle LITERALLY had a draw bridge!
9. Jackie told me an awesome lie about a lonely friend who she texted a joke sneaky!
10. When they found out I was actually buying chips and salsa Jackie called them and they all giggled because they knew they had got away with guys are so funny!

Thank you all so much! I had an awesome time! I love you all!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Miss you miss you

Well my time here is getting in I have 3 days left. It's amazing to me how fast 10 months can go. It's even more amazing when I think about how slow an 8 hour block of my day can go sometimes. If these ten months went that slowly I figure I would be somewhere around the 4 month mark.

Here is a list of things I'm going to miss three days from now:

1. Adam, Andy, Annalise, Jackie, Jenny, Katy, Kristin, Michon (notice those are in alphabetical order so as to avoid offending)
2. Poker parties
3. Watching the Daily 10 with Katy (I already miss that)
4. Scatagories, Georgia O’Keefe, and various other Halloween costumes.
5. Visits to Cracker Barrel for pretty much any reason.
6. Trips to New York with Jackie.
7. Watching Office, Grey's, Lost, 24, occasionally The Loop, ANTM, Runway, Alias (even though that's over), Jep, and all the MANY MANY other shows we watch.
8. Movies and PB on Saturday morning.
9. Craft Saturdays
10. Trips to Target for no reason
11. Bike rides with Jackie
12. Watching obscure movies with Annalise
13. Movie night at J & K's
14. Playing Mario Kart and having to sit 3 feet away from the screen because it's so big
15. Making books with Kristin
16. Picking names for Christmas and then trading for who you want
17. Quilting with Katy
19. Quoting random lines from movies
20. Having lyric knowledge contests with Black Jenny

Let's face it I could do this all day. I'm going to miss everything about the last 10 months, even the stuff that I hated. Because let's face it even the things I hate about this place can't be trumped by the fact that I got to spend 10 more months with all of you.

Monday, August 28, 2006

I'm a Mac

i'm a mac
Is it just me or do these never get old?

Friday, August 25, 2006

Being Lulled into a Coma

That's what's happening to me. Just thought you ought to know.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Vagrant Cross-Dressers

Everyone knows I enjoy a good Wikipedia article. I often refer to the "resource" in my blog. If I don't know the answer to pretty much anything I turn to it. Yesterday I was looking up "white papers" because most of the businesses we work with refer to them and I never know what they are or why the are called white papers.

After figuring that out I discovered something AMAZING! Wikipedia has a "random article" button! (I'm sure many of you already knew about this) So I clicked it and the first article I got to was about Leslie Cochran. I pretty much couldn't resist saving the link and making a post out of this dude because the article gave me even more respect for wikipedia. Here is an excerpt from the article:

"Leslie Alicia Cochran (born as Al Leslie Cochran on June 24, 1951) is a vagrant cross-dresser and arguably the most locally famous street person in Austin, Texas. He is an outspoken critic of police treatment of the homeless in the downtown Austin area. Many consider him to be the epitome of the Keep Austin Weird campaign.

In 2000, Leslie ran for mayor against the incumbent Kirk Watson and finished second. His popularity waned in the 2003 election because of his platform to house the homeless in tipis.

In 2004, he challenged Jennifer Gale (another homeless transvestite mayoral candidate) to a debate at the University of Texas student union on the topic of who should best represent the homeless. Gale declined to participate unless given $50 of food from the Wendy's restaurant inside the union. The event organizers declined."

That is pretty much amazing! Next time I'm negotiating something I'm going to request $50 in beverages from Sonic.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The first time I had this dream I thought I was going crazy....the second time I knew I had arrived in Crazyville.

I've had this dream several times where I'm one of the X-Men. Not an actual X-Man, because I have no powers and no cool super hero getup. Instead I spend all my time running away from people with amazing wind producing powers and flame throwing abilities. The dream has ended the same way both times. I make it home and I get in the shower and then this pack of wolves (like in Narnia) come at me through the house and the window in my bathroom. This morning when the wolves got to me one of them turned into a dude in a Smoky the Bear costume. Then my alarm went off and I basically couldn't breathe. What is wrong wit me?!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Seeing Patterns

There is something soothing about making patterns. I don't know what it is or why, but I love making them. I love the idea of taking a letter and reflecting it or turning it and repeating it until it has lost all its letter-ness.

Monday, August 21, 2006

10 Months of IM Pictures

Unable to Swallow Properly

I just choked on my own spit. If someone died from choking on their own spit what would their tomb stone say?

Kristi Westberg
Graphic Designer, Good time Gal, Always hydrated

Kristi Westberg
Mario Kart Novice, Whale Expert, Salivary Gland Victim

Kristi Westberg
Taller than Bridget, Shorter than Adam, Not smart enough to swallow

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Guster with Boston Pops

I was talking about this with someone the other day. Take a look.

Feeling things out.

eye sign
This morning I woke up at 6am...not because my alarm went off, or the stupid kids down the street were launching off fireworks, or even because I had to go to the bathroom. My right eye woke me up at 6am!

It kept watering and watering and watering and I couldn't even open it. Missing work is not an option so I got up and took a shower with my eyes closed, which turned out to be a surprisingly easy task. Until I had to shave my legs at which point I opened my left eye and hoped for the best.

It continued watering after I did all the things I could think of to make it in I washed my face and put a lot of saline in it. That's pretty much all I could think of.

Two hours later it finally stopped.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Attempting to Drain my Brain of All Knowledge Through D-rated Movies

This weekend I hit my absolute MAX in cheesy movies.

I started the weekend off with this:

Later viewed this one:

Started off my Sunday with this crap:

Followed by this genius...who ever thought they could make an entire movie about marching band?!

And capped off the weekend with this gem.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Something I needed to put out there in the universe

People are so interesting. How is it that in one year you can go from hating someone so much that you contemplate buying a voodoo doll and using it to slowly torture them to hanging out with no awkwardness. It's good to know that that kind of unbridled rage can be watered down over time and eventually disappear.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Rejected from the passport photo lab.

I went to Target today on my lunch break to get my passport photo taken. When I told the chick what I wanted she said me that her manager had to take those and that she was gone for the day. Why would the manager be the only person allowed to take passport photos?

I found this confusing and in true Kristi fashion I decided to come up with a list of 5 reasons why only the Manager of the Target Portrait Studio would be able to take on this important job.

1. Has attitude...was rejected from Slurpee Heaven and decided to take out her wrath on unimposing people in need of passport photos.
2. She has a good eye for passport photos, it's her specialty
3. She has a top notch camera with biometric access and only a drop of her blood will make the shutter go.
4. She was named Target's passport photographer of the year and now the other employees can't take the pressure.
5. Her secret hobby involves photoshopping passport photos and morphing people into B list celebrities.

Well, looks like I'll be going to Kinko’s or Passport Piazza to get these things taken, Target you missed out.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Do I look like a pirate?

I took another fashion risk today and wore a scarf on my head. Not like a a do-rag. According to Katy it looks cute, but as I found out several weeks ago, some opinions can NOT BE TRUSTED. This realization has caused me to rethink the opinions of nearly every person that I know. I was feeling pretty good about this scarf decision until someone in the office looked at me and said, "Arg." I'm worried.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Continuing saga involving "the crazy lady"

If you recall my March 8, 2006 entry (and I'm sure you all do), I listed off "Five Things I See Everyday on My Way to Work:"

Number three went a little something like this "This creepy lady at the bus stop by the creepy gas station who always waves to me."

Well in the 5 months since I posted that tidbit of information the creepy lady has only become creepier. The creepiness went from waving, to smirking, to bowing, to pointing, and culminated last week when she pointed at me and stuck out her long pointy devil tongue.

After that particular gesture I wanted to throw my car in reverse, take my piece of buttered toast and chuck it at her head. BUT seeing how she has been dubbed "the creepy lady" the rational portion of my brain urged me to keep driving for fear that the next time I opened my blinds in the morning she would be standing there pointing, bowing and tongue wagging.

Nevertheless I have come up with a plan that will enable me to get the last laugh or gesture if you will. On my last day of work, or maybe even the second to last day I plan to give her the old Janis Ian one two...for those unfamiliar that is a friendly wave followed by the popular French up yours motion.

Let me just say that I realize how pathetic and ridiculous this post is and that my JI motion will in no way effect this lady, but I'm the one that had to see her day in and day out and I'm gonna do it!

(Is it just me or am I starting to sound crazy?)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Check Yes or No

The blogging is going downhill; I'm the first to admit this. I applied for my visa yesterday, an interesting process. Several of the questions were pretty funny and got me thinking. One question asked flat out if I was associated with or participated in terrorist activities. Not to knock on the application process or its writing staff, but what terrorist in their right mind would check the yes box on that one?

Maybe I don't understand the terrorrist/terrorrism process enough to see a reason why that box would be checked. As far as I'm concerned you'd have to be the worst terrorist in the world to check that box. I decided to create a list of possible reasons why this box would be checked:

1. New to terrorism...don't know the proper etiquette
2. Accidentally licked the envelope filled with anthrax before you went to fill out the form leaving you in an altered state of consciousness.
3. Drunk after attending terrorrpoluza.
4. Trying to impress terrorist friends.
5. Accidentally checked "yes" while day dreaming of having tea with Osama in his VIP cave.

I think my blog might get picked up by ECHELON today...I'm a little scared.

Monday, July 31, 2006

It's official, I am an E! True Hollywood Story junkie.

Yesterday I signed somewhere around 5 hours of my life away to the series. I now know a ridiculous amount of information about the cast from Full House, the 50 cutest kid stars, the cast of Home Improvement and Hillary Duff.

How on earth have I not been addicted to this before now is beyond me. I am an Us Weekly junkie, love most VH1 shows and am now an E! THS addict...that's right I know the abbreviation and I'm using it.

It's amazing how much information these people can pack into such a small amount of time. It never ceases to amaze me. Without THS I would have never known about;

-Tim Allen doing time for dealing drugs
-That the youngest kid's name from Rosanne was Michael Fischman...the same name as one of my high school friends.
-H Duff's break into show business coming from a movie being filmed on her parents ranch in Texas in which she was an extra

Needless to say the show is amazing and I plan on continuing to watch for quite some time. So Jenny, you can count on my spouting ridiculous facts about New Kids on the Block or the cast from Charles in Charge for the next month.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


New Kids On the Block
Yesterday when I came home for lunch Katy was watching E! True Hollywood Story....a show I KNOW we all get hooked into from time to time. I sat down before I realized which story they were telling when all of a sudden the screen went to black and in bold white type it said "New Kids on the Block." I have to say at that moment I knew my day wouldn't get any better.

Sadly, I was never truly immersed in New Kids and didn't get to enjoy the Bop magazines devoted to their likes and dislikes. I never had one of those ginormous buttons attached to my acid washed jean jacket that had a glossy photo of Jordan Knight or Donnie Wahlberg. I truly missed out on this moment in time when 13 year old girls were contemplating giving up their virginity to any member of the band. I was looking up what they are up to now and found myself very depressed for several of the members.

Jonathan Knight for example went on to have a career in real estate. Real estate?! Do you think that his customers ever ask him to hum a few bars of Step by Step? Does he ever break out in synchronized dance numbers to secure a sale? I sure hope so.

Joey McIntyre and Jordan Knight were described by wikipedia as having "moderately successful" albums later in their careers...not too impressive. Maybe these two should join forces and start a show like P-Diddy or start an 80's throwback line of clothing...just an idea boys.

And Donnie Wahlberg is "the most successful since the group" due to his acting roles in Sixth Sense, Band of Brothers, and a role on the short-lived police drama series Boomtown. Congrats Donnie boy, lucky you're a member of the Wahlberg family good jeans, and Marky Mark...can't beat that.

If E! True Hollywood story has taught me anything (and it has), it's that starting your career at the age of 15 will only cause you to peak at 19 and spend the rest of your life on the way downhill. Thanks mom and dad for not letting me pursue that modeling career through Dillards weekend modeling sometimes my life is sad.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ass cracks? Asterisks? I still don't know what this game is called.

I was thinking about figuring out what the name of this game really was and letting everyone benefit from the information, but I can't bring myself to find any information about it. Instead I choose to believe that the one thing tipping the scales on whether or not Adam would purchase a Mac is a game called "ass cracks."

Monday, July 24, 2006

When I was in rehab.

Best moment of this weekend. I'm lying on K&J's couch watching Felicity. I turn to Jenny and say, "I've been wanting to do this for weeks."

Jenny: "What, nothing?"

Kristi: "Yes."

Thanks for the great weekend.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Hair sticking out of the side of my head.

I took a time machine back to 1988 this morning and decided to rock the side ponytail. Don't get me wrong this is a revision of the 80's style, lower and a little swirly, but still all to one side. My earliest memory of a side ponytail is around 3rd grade; although I have no doubt my mom had me wearing them much earlier. I remember having really long light blond hair and it was all pulled to the side as I searched for a book in the Wells Elementary Library. Good times.

I gotta say now that I have left my house the idea seems much more stupid than when I was in the comfort of my well lit bathroom with yummy fragrances lulling me into submission. I'm gonna stick it out though. I was looking into the history of the side pony and came across this website where you can sign a petition to save the dying hairstyle, pretty funny. Anyway, a big shout out to J and K for putting this idea into and on my head.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

A momentary Lapse of Reason
Well the new title is up. Thanks and congrats to Annalise for the great pick. For those of you that are unfamiliar it's the title of a Pink Floyd album.

Pink Floyd
According to Wikipedia Pink Floyd played to its biggest audience EVER on July 2, 2005 at Live 8....and Annalise and I were there. Ok, that last bit wasn't in the Wikipedia article, but the first part is true.

A Lapse of Reason was recorded during a hard time for the band, after a bitter legal dispute between David Gilmour and Nick Mason over the legal right for the band to continue on as "Pink Floyd", the lawsuit was eventually settled out of court. The band ended up seeking help from then outside writer Gilmour, and the end product is often referred to as a David Gilmour solo effort.

While many people consider Dark Side of the Moon Pink Floyd's greatest accomplishment my favorite album is The Wall.

Thanks again Annalise.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Shouting From My Soap Box

Microsoft Logo
I never like to bring up boring technology based topics in this pop culture driven blog, however today I am at my wits end. My work computer is a PC an HP Media Center with a good graphics card (aka runs quick, works well with my design programs), runs quick, and haven’t had any problems with it other than the fact that it is not a Mac.

I recently downloaded the new version of MSN Messenger that has been renamed Windows Live Messenger. I'll admit it has some great new features, blah blah blah. BUT ever since I installed it my computer has been running slower and crashing twice....nay 1 million times more often. I never subscribed to the idea that Microsoft was the equivalent of the Walmart of technology based companies, raping the industry of its dignity and forcing it to bend over for an ass kicking, however I now feel differently. I think Microsoft is an evil genius plotting to take over everyone’s computers and systems until we are all bowing down in unison to the Mecca that is the 4 waving flags of "truth".

I know what many of you are thinking, Apple is doing it too....(I choose not to believe this). BUT at least Apple has the courtesy of camouflaging their agenda with sleek computer designs and awesome program interfaces that make me feel like a kid in a room of shiny objects. I don't really know where I'm going with this one, but I just had to put those opinions out there into the universe.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Blog Heard Round the World

I have explained Google Analytics to a couple of you...I'm sorry if I bored you, but this is a map of my blog visitors according to their location. I though it was pretty cool, I have listed some cities of note and a fun fact for your enjoyment.

Scranton, PA
Scranton is nestled in the Lackawanna River valley and is known for it's iron, coal and railroads. More importantly Scranton is home to Dundir Miflin, employees we all know and love. Stay classy Scranton.

Izmir, Turkey
"The pearl of the Aegean". It is widely regarded as one of the most liberal Turkish cities in terms of values, ideology, lifestyle, dynamism and gender roles. Welcome aboard.

Bangalore, India
Bangalore is known as the Garden City of India because of its climate, greenery and the presence of many public parks. Maybe people are using their laptops in the parks reading my blog. I'm choosing to believe this.

Canberra, Australia
The capital city of Australia and with a population of just over 325,000 is Australia's largest inland city. Had no idea Canberra was the capital of Australia...learn something new everyday. Thanks Canberra.

Payback for a sucky quiz.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Happy 150th Post!!!!!!!!!

150 posts ago my life was totally different. Before I coined the term "readership" and started saying things like "that's a blog title if I ever heard one" my life had a little void in it....that later turned into a huge gaping void. That void was filled by this little soap box where I like to spout ridiculousness and contaminate the minds of others with pop culture, crazy dreams and lists of all kinds.

In honor of this lovely box of blarney I have taken the cue from others to create a quiz. A quiz devoted to this blog and its contents. Let's see how much of my frivolity you have actually retained. No cheating! The winner gets to rename my blog.

On to the quiz!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Falling off the Blogon

Dear Readership,

As of late my blogging has been inconsistent (aka non-existent). For this I am very sorry. I have been very busy and have not had the time to formulate a cohesive statement until now. Perhaps I will start audio blogging for a while. Here are three things I have been thinking about recently, and hope to use for future blog topics. (this is to keep you a sneak preview or a teaser if you will).

1. Super heroes
2. British hospitality
3. Ridiculous quizzes that have questions that are impossible to answer.

Friday, July 07, 2006

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today it took me 3 hours to commute to work, a journey that usually took 1 hour. London was attacked by cowards and I had the privledge of listening to this statement made by Prime Minister Tony Blair. I know it looks long, but it's worth the read.

This has been a most terrible and tragic atrocity that has cost many innocent lives. I have just attended a meeting of the government's Emergency Committee, received a full report from the Ministers and the officials responsible. There will be announcements made in respect of the various services, in particular we hope the Underground, insofar as is possible, and rail and bus services are up and running as swiftly as possible.

I would like again to express my profound condolences to the families of the victims, and to those who are casualties of this terrorist act. I would also like to thank the emergency services that have been magnificent today in every respect. There will of course now be the most intense police and security service action to make sure that we bring those responsible to justice. I would also pay tribute to the stoicism and resilience of the people of London, who have responded in a way typical of them.

In addition I welcome the statement that has been put out by the Muslim Council of Great Britain. We know that these people act in the name of Islam, but we also know that the vast and overwhelming majority of Muslims, here and abroad, are decent and law-abiding people who abhor this act of terrorism every bit as much as we do.

It is through terrorism that the people that have committed this terrible act express their values, and it is right at this moment that we demonstrate ours. I think we all know what they are trying to do - they are trying to use the slaughter of innocent people to cower us, to frighten us out of doing the things that we want to do, of trying to stop us going about our business as normal, as we are entitled to do, and they should not, and they must not, succeed.

When they try to intimidate us, we will not be intimidated. When they seek to change our country or our way of life by these methods, we will not be changed. When they try to divide our people or weaken our resolve, we will not be divided and our resolve will hold firm. We will show, by our spirit and dignity, and by our quiet but true strength that there is in the British people, that our values will long outlast theirs. The purpose of terrorism is just that, it is to terrorise people, and we will not be terrorised.

I would like once again to express my sympathy and my sorrow to those families who will be grieving, so unexpectedly and tragically, tonight. This is a very sad day for the British people, but we will hold true to the British way of life.

Thank you.

At that moment I had never been more proud of the British and I consider myself lucky to have lived with them.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

6 More Years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure everyone already knew this.

Pasties and a Maxi Pad

Santino RiceAll hale Santino.

Many people are opposed to this notorious cast member of Project Runway (Jenny, Maddie, others I'm sure), however last night I witnessed the funniest line in PR history. Second only to the Andre/Tim Red Lobster scenario which was amazing!

After producing 12 pieces for their final runway show they were told they had to make one more before they hit the runway. Needless to say all three designers almost collapsed the ground like Britney Spears after realizing she was not a girl anymore, but a knocked up woman.

Santino was contemplating sending a naked women down the runway, and then had a stroke of genius, deciding to send her out in pasties and a maxi pad. Don't worry, he didn't really do it. It was at this moment that I knew I would be bound to this show forever.

Thank you Santino.

Best moment of my 4th of July:

Michon, her mom and her sister are sitting on the back row in Devil Wears Prada and I'm sitting next to these two old ladies that make full voice comments throughout the movie. Andy has just left the Dragon Lady in Paris and the scene goes back to NY and they show the BROOKLYN BRIDGE. The lady next to me says (in a very country voice),

"She's back in San Francisco."

I nearly peed my pants.

Monday, July 03, 2006

I Love Sports Guy

"10:20 -- The Mavs take Maurice Ager at No. 28. He puts his head in his hands and starts sobbing hysterically as his entourage congratulates him. It's about time we had some emotion tonight, dammit. Ager walks up to the stage in a triple-breasted, oversized beige suit, goes to shake hands with Stern and immediately gets whistled for a foul on Dwyane Wade."

Is it just me or will that joke never get old?

Clover in Syracuse: "I think I farted twice on the couch during this series -- and I was called for two fouls against Dwyane Wade."

Nope, it sure doesn't.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Evolution of a Nickname

This weekend I was introduced to the most famous member of the Willy family (other than Ryan)...Wendy. I arrived and was instantly given a walk on roll on the Wendy show and gladly accepted.

On Sunday night we played a game of "Ooder Deeder" also known as Up the River Down the River and I was able to see the evolution of a nickname take place.

Here's how it started and where it ended:
Kristi (actual name)
K-town (too confusing)
Crisco (not my favorite)
Monte Cristo

That's right in two hours I went from being a city, to a tub of animal fat, to a place (or a sandwich), and finally I ended up being an 80 year old man wearing suspenders and a comb over. Amazing!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Treasure in the Workplace

National TreasureIn a meeting at work today my boss quoted National Treasure, the part where Ben Gates is talking about Thomas Edison...."I didn't fail, I found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only need to find one way to make it work."

It was amazing.
Jenny, that was for you.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


I had a dream today when iTunes shuffled to Guster's "Fa Fa". It would have been so cool if someone had called me right as the chorus sounded. Then my ring tone and my shuffle would be in sync. Why didn't anyone call me?!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Text Message Diary June 20th

10:05pm - "So sorry man. That's total bullshit."

11:42pm - I dont think i would marry any of them...Well maybe dwayne wade because hes a balla"
(in response to me saying I would gladly marry Dirk)

12:06am - Shit!!! f f f Shit.

12:19am - F. Im so sad. Mffl. We got a young good team and we aint leavin any time soon. Half the heat team should retire. Mffl.
Dear Mavs,

Thank you for giving me hours and hours of joy, pain, triumph, and defeat. I have not been this excited to watch basketball since the Jordan days, and I'm not talking about when he came out of retirement for the second time. You showed the league what the game is all about. Gave us a glimpse of a league where a title isn't won by a single player (cough cough Wade). Your unselfish desire to win using teamwork and willingness to work together in order to accomplish a common goal gave me the hope that the NBA is not going to crap.

Dirk - Thanks for the sneers, the beautiful 3's and the raw German power

Jet - It was you who brought me into the fold, once I learned about your superstitions I was hooked. Here's to tall socks, chicken, and rainbow jumpers.

Devon - So much talent and you're so young, I gotta say I'm excited to see where your game is headed.

Josh - Clutch, that's all I've got to say.

Griff - You're a good starter and a powerful force to recon with.

Diop - Thanks for the dunks and for stuffing Shaq a couple times.

Stack - You are one bad ass mofo, always hitting 3's, driving to the basket and I'll never forget how you brought Shaq crashing to the floor.

Marquis - You're a dark horse, thanks for bringing it tonight.

Damp - Old school look with new school moves.

Avery - The Little General, coach of the year, our fearless leader, I salute you.

Kristin and Jenny - Thanks for helping me renew my love of the game.

I will mourn this loss, but I look forward to next season. Please don't tear this team apart come draft time.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

"If you enjoyed the Spurs-Mavs and Suns-Mavs series this year, just root for Dallas these last two games. Trust me. It's for the best."

--Sports Guy


Monday, June 19, 2006


Ok, last night was a tough night to say the least. I wanted to reach into my TV and pants Wade in front of the entire Miami crowd and I was even willing to suffer the consequences of the crown wrath. Since that can't really happen the only choice I was left with was to change the channel IMMEDIATLY after the game ended to as to avoid my brain being scrambled by his inability to construct a proper sentence.

I went to bed angry not to mention I read a chapter or two of A Million Little Pieces by James Frey before turning off the lights. Basically it's a book where every other word is F.; the holes are filled with a dude that is addicted to pretty much everything going through detox...and it's not going well. In other words it's an angry book.

I had a dream this morning of note that I believe stem from the game anger and the book rage.

I'm sitting at a diner type restaurant and across the table from me is EMINEM...that's right, Marshall Mathers. We're just chilling eating dinner and talking about music and my cousins are playing volleyball outside the window. Marshal asks me if I know them and I say yes, they're my cousins. Then he tells me he wants to play too. That's it...then it ends. Who knows what could have happened if my alarm didn't go off.

I could have been his new producer, 50 Cent could have walked in, anything is possible.

Regardless, you don't get much more rage than EMINEM unless you're entering prison territory and I'm pretty glad that didn't happen.

Here's my theory about the dream. I'm eating with EMINEM because he's a rapper....Dirk loves rap. Dirk is also no doubt stricken with anger right now and is turning to rap to release that tension. In an effort to put those emotions towards something with purpose he has turned to the court, much like M joining in a friendly game of volleyball. Needless to say when it all comes down to it Dirk is busy getting his edge back while Shaq is being mauled by his "husky" daughters.

Meanwhile Stack is hitting 3 after 3 in the practice gym while his personal assistant is sticking pins in his Wade voodoo doll, so he can have plenty of excuses to tell the media when the Heat lose the NBA Finals.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Kristi's Week in Pictures

Ate here.Did French stuff at work.Watched this.Felt like this.Got this done.Watched him.Watched this.Did this.