Friday, December 30, 2005

Ode to the Coolest Albino Donut Eater I Know.....i think you know who i'm talking about

Dear Donut-Eater,

So sorry to offend. Did not mean harm in dedicating my last entry to two certain individuals who will remain nameless so as to not offend. As mentioned in the comment to your latest post, your blogging is reaching Oscar-quality levels and I fully intend on doing something amazing with them. Whether it be submitting them to Ellen, the Nobel Prize board, or SNL, something will happen with all that hard work. In honor of Jenny's home video post I was going to put up this amazing old family picture up, but our scanner is on the fritz so I will have to describe it in word.

Imagine a Westberg family photo circa 1988 on the 4th of July. We are all standing in front of my dad's ten speed bike that is decorated for the Plano 4th Ward Annual 4th of July Bike Parade. A sign that says Grand Marshall on the front, circles of red and white crape paper woven through the spokes of his tires, ect. My dad is wearing an American flag top hat, a red shirt and white polyester warm up pants. I am in a red and white striped tee AND shorts. My mom's hair is as big as her head, Jenna is wearing a shirt with some sort of metal embroidered on the pocket, and Jill has on a belt buckle that is covered in red white and blue curly ribbon in a huge wad. It's amazing! I wish I could make the scanner work!

Anyway, that is my big family memory for the day. Needless to say we had a new family picture taken on Wednesday, although I'm not sure it can top the one described above.

Better be off, peace, love and 4th of July bike parades forever!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

another boring post

This post is dedicated to Michon and Annalise....and their questions and comments. First of all, Annalise! I can't believe you do not know what the Magic Bullet is! Visit this site and prepare to be dazzled!

Secondly, Brokeback Mountain....seems like an interesting movie. Today I actually saw a promo for it and there was a quote from some newspaper that said it was "one of America's most beautiful love stories." I picture it as something much different, however, I would like to broaden my horizons and see it with you if you would like. Here's the catch, if you go see it with Steve and do not tell me about it, you're in BIG trouble.

Third, a huge congratulations on finishing 24! I'm sure that you are pumped to see the new season now. Rogue Jack!

Fourth, I'm heading back to Utah on the 2nd, well before anyone else, so when all of ya'll get back get ready to party with Kristi and her Magic Bullet.

Fifth, Michon! How was your Hawaiian getaway?! I can only imagine how tan you are and I'm already jealous. Truthfully I haven't read the blog yet, but it will happen soon, no worries. Get some sleep girl! You're gonna need it for when I get back!

Better be off. My dad is leaving work and I'm riding his coat tails home.


Tuesday, December 27, 2005


So sorry I have not blogged in nearly four days! My dearest darlingest momsie and popsie's computer is on el fritzo, hence no to for, no blogging. First things first, Jenny--no sweatshirt as of Thursday night when I left. So sorry. Christmas was excellent, I am now the proud owner of a new iPod and drum rolllllllllllllllllllllll! A Magic Bullet! Can't wait to start making 30 second meals, dips, and smoothies. Don't worry, we'll make everything from the infomercial, heck, we may even do our own infomercial. There's something to think about. (I get to be the guy that hates vegetables--K you know who I'm talkin' about) Anyway, sorry this is so short in light of the abscent postings for the last couple days, but Kate has gymnastics and I gotta take her there. Peace out friends and happy dipping.

Friday, December 23, 2005

"my best friend said she used ta' blog with Usha', I don't care what non a ya'll say i still love her"

T-minus 7 hours and counting until I get to go home! I am the only person in the office today, I actually had to unlock the door when I got here 10 minutes late....first time I've even used my key. I picked up a bagel and schmear in honor of my Jewish readers...don't know why that is Jewish but the word schmear sure seems Yiddish. I should research that today during my busy day.

Jenny! Amazing blogging, entertaining as always. Tell Ryan I say hi, maybe he can let one rip on Kristin for me. Fair is fair, she needs a little of that too.

In honor of Jermey Piven who always seems to be the witty side-kick, never the main attraction in movies, I have decided to make a list of the

5 Minor Characters Who Deserve Their Own Movie:

5. Sean Whalen, notable actor famous for his portrayal of "Merkin Burns" receptionist extraordinaire in Never Been Kissed.
Notable Quote: "Merkin ain't jerkin' he's workin'"

4. This goes to two people who play a couple: Stephen Stout and Maryann Plunkett, also known as Mr. & Mrs. Jodie Sawyer in the critically acclaimed film Center Stage.
Notable Quote: "Yeah....we'll see you at the dorm."

3. Chris Owen who is listed as "klepto kid" in the Can't Hardly Wait credits...I think that says enough about his acting abilities.
Notable Quote: he actually doesn't say anything in the movie, but he does steal a gum ball machine at one point.

2. Number two is notable lost boy "Thudd butt" aka Raushan Hammond. (maybe that's what you should start calling Ryan) He received the coveted number two spot because his list of "notable TV appearances" is amazing.

  1. Family Matters
  2. ER
  3. Hangin' with Mr. Cooper
  4. Tales from the Crypt circa 1993

1. Of course, the man who inspired the list, and lets face it he's had a pretty amazing career as a side-kick.........Jeremy Piven!
Notable Quote: from his good old days as Spence Kovak on Ellen:
Paige: What are you doing in here?
Spence: "I'm playing "Crimson Tide" and I'm waiting for Denzel Washington to punch me in the face. I'm taking a bath, what does it look like I'm doing?"

Disclaimer: I realize that Jeremey Piven does not even compare to the other 4 on the list, as the list of films he has been in is longer than all the other 4 combined. However, since this list is mine it stands.

Now to answer Jenny's questions:

A: No idea.

Q: Am I going to start giving Jude small items to fill his stocking or am I going to commence with following him around?
A: Filling the sock with goodies.....hello, I gotta win him over somehow.

Peace, much love, Happy Christmas.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

"is there anyone out there, cause it's getting harder and harder to blog."

I am officially alone now. Here is a list of the people that are gone: Kristin, Jenny, Bridget, Annalise, Jackie, Katy & Clay, Michon. That is WAY too many people. Needless to say not much is happening around these parts.

So the picture has nothing to do with anything really, I just found it this morning while I was on the Ellen site and I thought it was pretty much priceless. It kind of makes me like Jude again.

I like to think of my blog as a historical document. Not historical in the sense that it is book worthy, or potential university classroom material, but in the sense that I like the way it sounds to call it historical. This is why I choose to fill it with valuable information about celebrities, movies, and other "pop culture" information. Which leads me to the Jack Black quote I found today:

"There's nothing you can really do to prepare to rock. Do you prepare to eat a delicious meal? Are you hungry? Then you're gonna eat it. And I'm hungry for rock 24/7,Byoch."

Peace out.
-J, I expect to see some blogging today now that I have made the first move.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Happy Holla-days!

5 days til Christmas people! And 3 days until I get to go home! I am sad to report that nothing all that funny or interesting has happened in the last 12 hours, this of course is due to the fact that most of you (my readers) are not here.

I've been thinking that maybe my readership is expanding and in respect for their diversity I would like to wish everyone a happy nondenominational season. May you all receive many fine gifts from the fat bearded nondenominational gift-bearing man under your seasonal evergreen tree. Happy Hanukkah too.

Now to answer the many questions I have received in my comments:

Q: What is the "black thing" that I have in tan?
A: It is a nondenominational sweater that zips from mid chest to neck, very cozy.

Q: Where did I get it from?
A: The Republic that is Banana

Q: Is Lost new this week?
A: No, ABC will continue to screw us over until the 11th of January.

So sorry this entry is short and crappy. That's just the way it is.....some things will never change.

As Jenny would say, "Peace, love and 32oz. diet cokes."

Friday, December 16, 2005

Bono, Person of the Year!

For those of you who have not heard, Bono has been named one of the persons of the year by Time Magazine! I would have posted the cover picture, but he didn't look as cool as he does in this one, plus he shares the cover with Bill Gates and his wife....(not sure what her name is).

Now, let me report on the concert, which was AMAZING! Kanye came first, and lets face it Salt Lake City, Utah isn't exactly the home of gangsta' rap, so he didn't receive much love from the crowd. Actually, most of the crowd wasn't even present for his killa performance. But!, have no fear, Kanye told us, " I can tell you rock, I could tell by ya charm." So he was feelin' us...and vice versa. I cannot stress enough how hot that man is....which is why I have included him in my photo montage.

Moving on. U2! Best performance I've seen! I may have only seen them one other time, but if it is even possible they were more amazing this time around. The stage was really cool, the main stage was a circle, and then they had another stage that was a huge ring, so people were in the middle (lucky ducks!). Needless to say every song was fantastic and the crowd was really into it. Jackie and I were a little worried because the guys next to us were really sucky during Kanye but they got more lively when U2 came out. (they were clearly not fans of Mr. West...suckas)

I have also included a picture of "The Edge" in the montage because he is my new celebrity crush. How can someone be so amazing at guitar! It boggles the mind...and makes him really hot! I could go on an on about this forever, but I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing it. So let me take this time to get on my soap box for a second.

Bono said something really profound during the concert regarding war and basically the struggles going on in the world. "Don't become a monster to kill a monster." I really like that quote and just thought all of you should hear it too.

Anyway, sorry to get all serious for a second there. The rest of my weekend was pretty good. Jackie and I made a little Chinese chicken salad, watched a little Love Actually. I did some Christmas shopping, bought a "black thing" as Jenny and I call them, although mine is more of an oatmeal color, and J I love it. I worked on my quilt which is not going well, I've had to rip out a ridiculous number of seams. I'm hoping that this section is the one where I will make all the mistakes and then the other three will work like clock's hoping.

So...this has been a really long entry in the blog, better be off. Let me leave you with a quote about my new celebrity crush.

"A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bicycle, and I guess I'm always going to need the Edge!"
-Bono, Trying to Throw Your Arms Around the World, Stockholm, 1992

All I want for Chrismukkah is a Bar Mitz-vahkkah

Man, nothing like a good Chrismukkah episode to kick off the season. Sometimes I wish I was Jewish, think of all the new words that would enter your vocabulary.
  • FERSHTINKINER: A stinker, a louse. Amazing!
  • KIBITZ: To offer comments which are often unwanted during a game, to tease or joke around. A kibitzer gives unasked for advice.
  • YENTA: A busybody, usually refers to an older woman. "thank you but Harvard doesn't give a degree in yenta" (that's for you Jenny)
  • VUS MACHS DA: What's happening? What's up?

I am totally feeling my inner Jew.

Moving on. As they say in testimony meetings across the world, I would like to publicly thank Adam Youngberg for his excellent host skills yesterday while I was at la casa Kristin, Jenny and Bridget. The cookies were excellent and so was the French Vanilla Hot Cocoa.

Ps… sorry to Katy for spilling on her hands.

Now for the sad part of the entry. Tomorrow I will be losing two of my favorite hanging out friends. Let me just say that I will miss you both and can't wait for the Chu's spring rolls...should I be at your house when the door bell rings. Here's hoping.

Well, I better be off. I love you all a million marshmallow Santa’s.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Last Christmas I Gave You My Heart.....

Another day another eight hours to fill. Let me first address the most important thing that happened yesterday (aside from burning a cd with 2 versions of Last Christmas, amazing) the Mavs won! In an amazing spectacle of athleticism, our dear Mav-ies beat poor Nashy and his Suns....sucka!

Moving on, Saturday is quickly approaching, aka, Kristi gets to see Kanye and U2! Needless to say I'm a little excited to see "Jesus Walk" "Where the Streets Have No Name" and end up sitting down to break bread with a "Gold Digga'" (that was so sacrilegious) I found an interesting "fact" about Bono this morning and you are all lucky enough to learn it as well.

"The star was also nominated last month for a Nobel Peace Prize, one of 166 nominees that includes Pope John Paul the Second, Secretary of State Colin Powell and famed sitar master Ravi Shankar. Bono was asked about the nomination at the Hall of Fame induction, and he shrugged it off saying, "'Rock star' is already having the cream of the cake," but added, "although it would be nice to beat that bastard Ravi Shankar. That dude's free ride is coming to an end. F him."

Haha, so that isn't so much a fact as a portion of an article from The Daily Show web site...which I encourage everyone to visit as it will provide many laughs.


Wednesday, December 14, 2005


May I take this time to apologize to Annalise who provided me with the AMAZING Gap commercial. She is not in fact my "slacker co-worker", but my wicked awesome London loving friend. So sorry.

Jolly Bunch of A**holes

First of all let me send a shout out to my peeps, Jenny and Adam for leaving some sweet comments about my first entry. May I just say that this blog is intended to spark witty banter between myself and all of my friends, so let the game begin. I wrote an awesome entry earlier today and then to my dismay it was deleted, so I apologize if this isn't up to par, but it is round two.

I was thinking about Christmas this morning and came across this quote that I think we should all ponder...."The only blind person at Christmastime is he who has not Christmas in his heart." ~ Helen Keller

Or in the immortal words of Clark Griswald, "Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f-ing Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

Man I love that quote. I tried my best to remove the French expletives, however I firmly believe this quote would be "moo" without the words "ass" and "asshole."

Any-who, moving on. I have been telling some of you (Kristin) about some entertaining videos that my fellow slacker co-workers sent to me. Let the laughs begin.

This one is a Matrix Ping-Pong match:

And this one is an AMAZING Gap commercial, your welcome.

Peace out friends.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

First Entry

Well, first entry in my new blog. So far nothing to say really, I'm not sure what these are for. I'm not even sure why I decided to start a blog, I guess it's mostly because I get really bored at work and since I'm here 8 hours a day I figure a blog can fill at least 15 minutes of the day.....that's not enough to make any sort of dent, but oh well. That was a really long sentence. I went and saw Narnia last night with two friends. I have to say that I was not the least bit excited to see that movie, but after seeing it I really want to read the books, I probably should have read the book first because I'm sure it's ruined now. Ok, I realize this is a really random and short post, but I want to see what it looks like in the actual blog, so here it goes.