One small step

I sent my passport off yesterday for renewal. It expired this month and it suddenly dawned on me that if I wanted to leave the country in a hurry the boarder patrol, customs, and the airline attendants would squash that idea real quick. So off I sent it for a mere $75 I will get my new little book to fill with stamps all over again!

$1

I purchased this hat at Target yesterday for ONE DOLLAR! It's times like these that I love America. To celebrate my fantastic St. Patrick's Day find I decided to call my Irish friend Catherine and have a video conversation with the hat on. I mean how funny would it be to turn on the video and see that on the other end? I found this hilarious...she had no idea what this hat was supposed to be. Either way I laughed about it all day.

Frightening yet hilarious

Today I watched as a 40 something year old lady tried on a pair of purple snake skin patterned leggings.....just the leggings, as in she thought they were pants.

Wrong side of the bed

I was under the impression that I have SOME ability to hide my true feelings when it comes to working at Macy's. Today however that idea was proven incorrect. The following is a list of signals that may have tipped off my co-workers that I was in a bad mood:

1. My refusal to participate in the morning rally where we were supposed to dance the electric slide to get pumped up to sell sell sell......at 8:45 Kristi does no dancing.
2. My lack of friendliness towards several people as I collected the trash cans that are stationed at my rap stand.
3. My decision to re-size the sale rack again in order to prevent myself from having to talk to people.
4. My lack of the use of the word "outstanding". (sarcastic usage excluded)

As it turns out people pick up on these things.....outstanding.

The Line

Well as some of you know I had the pleasure (no I'm not being sarcastic....seriously, I'm not) of driving with Jackie from Philadelphia, PA all the way to Lehi, UT. In case you don't realize it, that's a really long way. This fact was realized when I opened up the map of the USA with our route highlighted.....ONE-----VERY-----LONG-----LINE. In my head I knew this was a long way, however when you look at how far it is on a map, rather than the tiny version in my head you realize how long it truly is.

Our first night of driving Jackie pulled out this map and the flashlight she had stowed in the glove box and began looking at the line. She looked, and looked and looked and looked until I finally asked her how that line was looking. Well, that started a running joke about the line that continued even after we arrived and I was back in Texas. The trip was filled with lots of memorable moments, including me thinking Sapp Brothers was a pancake house....it is in fact a place to get your car fixed, me belting out the best of Garth Brooks when I got my "second wind"....so sorry Jackie, Jackie coming in early during nearly every song she sang, and the two of us periodically loosing our minds. Needless to say it was a very entertaining road trip, one I will never forget....and hopefully never make again. Fingers crossed....keep that line away from me.

Underpants

I was telling Jackie about how I once went to see Michael Flatley Lord of the Dance and just as the show was starting a woman rushed the stage and threw her underwear at him....seriously, it happened.

This conversation prompted discussion on what music stars we would be willing to give such treatment.

My answer: Bono, Chris Martin

Jackie's answer: Josh Groban

It was awesome, and hilarious.

Sometimes I get excited about very small things. Take for instance my new tube of mascara....you forget how crappy your mascara is until you get a new perfect one.

What happens when your phone is smarter than you

So for Christmas Santa brought me a new cell phone. Allowing me to go from a phone something like this....old man not included.

To this little baby.
Needless to say it was a big jump in technology. I mean this thing knows where I am at all times, tells me the weather, keeps my calendar (and boy is it jam packed), allows me to listen to soothing sounds as I go to sleep, calculate tips, find restaurants, gives me a workout program, you name it this thing can do it. It's freaking amazing.

Now the tricky part is what happens when your phone is smarter than you. As of a day and a half ago my phone was not ringing or making any sounds...not even the keyboard clicks. I downloaded the new software, reprogrammed all my settings, blah blah blah. I tried everything. So as a last resort I took it into the ATT store. As I'm waiting there this helper guy asks why I'm there and I tell him about how my phone is not making any sounds. I hand him the phone, he moves the "silent mode" switch on the side and voila it's fixed!....and Kristi is the dumbest iPhone owner out there.

A pointless post

Well I'd like to say that I have exciting news or that something truly entertaining has happened in my life, but that would be a lie. I do however have an overwhelming urge to write a post. Like I said nothing has happened, no forts built or the like, I did however work a lot this week which is a good thing.

I also attended my first aerobics class at LA Fitness (the big winner in my free trial marathon). Cardio Kickboxing was the only class that I could fit into my work schedule so that's how I chose it. I gotta say it kicked my butt but was pretty fun. We'll see how I feel tomorrow, hopefully not as sore as the last time I worked out with Will (the trainer guy) who took away my ability to walk and caused me to consider throwing myself down the stairs in the Stonebriar mall rather than endure the pain of walking down them.

Indicators that your job interview is not going well

1. You are told about the company three times by three different people individually.

2. The other designer reminds you of Jose Eber but with greasy Euro hair in your face type hair-do

(for those of you not familiar this is Jose)

3. You show your portfolio and the interviewer's reply is, "this is it?"
4. You are asked to design something right on the spot, given no indication of what should be put on this card aside from a logo....for Nikon.
5. After being left in the office for 10 minutes Jose comes back in the room and is surprised that all you have so far is the Nikon logo on a yellow background with a made-up phone number
6. And the kicker, you are left in the waiting area for someone to return when the first interviewer walks by and asks why you are standing there.....because the interview is over, but you received no handshake or thank you for coming....or any indication that the interview was in fact finished.

And that in a nut shell is what I can now call the worst job interview I have ever been a part of.

How many posts can I devote to the neti pot?

At least one more. So as promised I purchased my neti pot today, after the worlds worst job interview, more to come on that. I did in fact find this little beauty at Target, it was actually the last one.....this thing must be catching on. Anyway, after much apprehension today I tried it before going to bed and was pleasantly surprised. My nasal passages are clear, my sinuses warmed and soothed and most importantly I can breath through BOTH nostrils at once. It's a little amazing this little pot. Ok, no more neti pot posts....I promise.

All Hail Target!

I'm pretty sure everyone knows how much I LOVE Target. I mean I applied to work for them in India! India! As I have recently acquired my 4th cold since being home I am considering the purchase of a neti pot (yes the pot I previously blogged about which scared the bejesus out of me). Desperate times call for desperate measures people! And in this case it calls for the flushing out of my nasal cavity.

Anyway, I was planning on getting said pot from Whole Foods (hippie organic store sure to carry a neti pot), Jackie told me to get one from Target. An idea I quickly discounted....why would Target carry a neti pot? People, I just looked it up online and they carry not one, but 4! 4 versions of the nose juicer! So tomorrow after my interview for the job that could set me free from the Macy's grasp (think good thoughts for me I need all the good energy I can get) I will be heading to Target, the place where nobody knows my name, but never ceases to amaze me with their wide variety of goods. Thank you Target.

The Neti Pot

So for Christmas my brother-in-law asked for one of these little babies, also known as a "neti pot". I call it the nose juicer. Basically you use this thing to flush out excess snot from your nasal cavity and ease sinus congestion. I watched this video on how to use this little contraption and was thoroughly disturbed by the idea of using this thing. I was then reminded of this image from The Office:


Thus bringing together my elf sock, the neti pot and one of my favorite shows The Office. It all seemed very blog-worthy to me. Again, you are welcome.

Elf foot.....anyone?

Does your foot look like this?

Because if it does I have just the sock for you. As you might know I have taken up knitting in the last year. I've knitted many scarves and hats and recently decided to take on making socks. Well I recently completed my first sock....it's soft and pink and cute.......and made for someone with an elf foot. Minor details I know. I tried my best to jam my own foot into this baby and it's just not gonna happen, so it's up for grabs. You are welcome.

An exciting time

Well I just finished watching President Obama's inauguration speech and I gotta say I was inspired. The man can give a good speech. I'm even more excited to see how his presidency pans out. Bring on the change!

The Obama Circus

I almost never talk about politics, but I'm reaching my breaking point with the prospect of the inauguration. We are in a recession....nearly depression and Obama is spending a whopping 140 MILLION on his inauguration! I do realize that this money is donated, but it still seems a large price to pay to swear someone into office. I know it's a historical event, blah, blah, blah but I can't help thinking that we are going to spend the next 4 years watching this man spend spend spend. That is not the kind of "change" I am looking for. On top of this I just saw a commercial where all the people performing at the inauguration were listed, it was like a commercial for the Grammys. Again donated services which I understand, but it does seem a little over the top.

This is only my first beef, second I am very irritated with the media and their continuous coverage about the upcoming dog purchase and Michelle Obama's redecorating of the White House. These stories have been run more than once on CNN, MSNBC, the radio and my local TV stations. I like Obama for the most part and am very interested to see how his presidency unfolds, but the focus on these little things is quite frankly putting me off a little bit. Ok, I'll get off my soap box now. Just some things I've been thinking about lately.

A New Etsy Store

Well where else can I shamelessly promote my mom's new Etsy store? She's been working hard to make cute pacifier clips for babies in need of a fancier lifestyle. Come check it out here.

That's what I call an overshare

So as you all know I've been doing the "trial pass" thing at various gyms. This week it's LA Fitness....actually a very good gym, but that's beside the point. Today I tried out the AquaFit class (as in water aerobics)....as in Kristi and two old ladies plus the instructor. I gotta say the class was pretty fun and made me laugh several times, but nothing was more strange or uncomfortable than the exchange that too place between myself (in my swimming suit) and a total stranger in the women's locker room.

So I'm standing there and this girl asks if I liked the class and I told her yes, then she goes on to tell me that she was considering going too but her swim suit was too worn out to be seen in public...fair enough. She then went on to tell me how she was persuaded to join when the sales person told her she was so unhealthy she would die prematurely if she didn't start working out there....yikes! (Starting to get uncomfortable) THEN she goes on to tell me about her free personal training session where she asked the trainer to "kick her butt". This did not go well as she started feeling faint, was given some water and an orange to eat, and then threw up in a nearby trash can....and a little on someone's desk. All of this was divulged to me, a total stranger, in the LA Fitness locker room. That's what I call an overshare.

Food Storage

In a recent conversation I was advised that "everyone needs a gun, Kristi." This was followed by a story about the location this person keeps their gun....in their pantry in a can labeled "wild rice". While I do not agree with the idea that everyone needs a gun I do very much enjoy the idea of that storage solution.

"Welcome to the family."

I spent the day with the Cumming's family on Friday and was invited to join them on their yearly excursion to Walmart where they have their family portrait taken. On the way there Jackie in jest says, "Kristi should be in the picture." Knowing that her mom will completely agree with this idea I immediatly give her a stern look...but it was too late, the seed was planted. Yes my friends, Kristi Westberg became part of the Walmart portrait studio experience, complete with changing backgrounds and props. My personal favorite was the hazy twinkly background with little mushrooms where Jackie and I made ridiculous faces a one another. This was closely followed by the fake library background which I couldn't resist.

In the end her mom ordered 36 sheets of photos, many of which were of Jackie and I and some of just me....Jackie was cropped out. Sadly, I do not have the pictures yet, but believe me I will be posting those suckers as soon as I have copies.