10 Reasons Why My Friends are SO Kick-A:

1. They successfully planned a surprise party that I had NO idea about.
2. They HAND MADE Big Ben and West Dean
3. They were planning to go to Cracker Barrel BEFORE I even posted my blog yesterday....see, we do go there for any reason!
4. I was greeted by Jenny in a Big Ben costume...AMAZING!
5. Annalise made a HUGE AMAZING bowl of trifle...ahh the good old days.
6. My castle was perched on rolling hills of fluffy green rug!
7. There were TWO plates of various British goodies!
8. The castle LITERALLY had a draw bridge!
9. Jackie told me an awesome lie about a lonely friend who she texted a joke to...so sneaky!
10. When they found out I was actually buying chips and salsa Jackie called them and they all giggled because they knew they had got away with it....you guys are so funny!

Thank you all so much! I had an awesome time! I love you all!

Miss you miss you

Well my time here is getting short...as in I have 3 days left. It's amazing to me how fast 10 months can go. It's even more amazing when I think about how slow an 8 hour block of my day can go sometimes. If these ten months went that slowly I figure I would be somewhere around the 4 month mark.

Here is a list of things I'm going to miss three days from now:

1. Adam, Andy, Annalise, Jackie, Jenny, Katy, Kristin, Michon (notice those are in alphabetical order so as to avoid offending)
2. Poker parties
3. Watching the Daily 10 with Katy (I already miss that)
4. Scatagories, Georgia O’Keefe, and various other Halloween costumes.
5. Visits to Cracker Barrel for pretty much any reason.
6. Trips to New York with Jackie.
7. Watching Office, Grey's, Lost, 24, occasionally The Loop, ANTM, Runway, Alias (even though that's over), Jep, and all the MANY MANY other shows we watch.
8. Movies and PB on Saturday morning.
9. Craft Saturdays
10. Trips to Target for no reason
11. Bike rides with Jackie
12. Watching obscure movies with Annalise
13. Movie night at J & K's
14. Playing Mario Kart and having to sit 3 feet away from the screen because it's so big
15. Making books with Kristin
16. Picking names for Christmas and then trading for who you want
17. Quilting with Katy
19. Quoting random lines from movies
20. Having lyric knowledge contests with Black Jenny

Let's face it I could do this all day. I'm going to miss everything about the last 10 months, even the stuff that I hated. Because let's face it even the things I hate about this place can't be trumped by the fact that I got to spend 10 more months with all of you.

I'm a Mac

Is it just me or do these never get old?

Being Lulled into a Coma

That's what's happening to me. Just thought you ought to know.

Vagrant Cross-Dressers

Everyone knows I enjoy a good Wikipedia article. I often refer to the "resource" in my blog. If I don't know the answer to pretty much anything I turn to it. Yesterday I was looking up "white papers" because most of the businesses we work with refer to them and I never know what they are or why the are called white papers.

After figuring that out I discovered something AMAZING! Wikipedia has a "random article" button! (I'm sure many of you already knew about this) So I clicked it and the first article I got to was about Leslie Cochran. I pretty much couldn't resist saving the link and making a post out of this dude because the article gave me even more respect for wikipedia. Here is an excerpt from the article:

"Leslie Alicia Cochran (born as Al Leslie Cochran on June 24, 1951) is a vagrant cross-dresser and arguably the most locally famous street person in Austin, Texas. He is an outspoken critic of police treatment of the homeless in the downtown Austin area. Many consider him to be the epitome of the Keep Austin Weird campaign.

In 2000, Leslie ran for mayor against the incumbent Kirk Watson and finished second. His popularity waned in the 2003 election because of his platform to house the homeless in tipis.

In 2004, he challenged Jennifer Gale (another homeless transvestite mayoral candidate) to a debate at the University of Texas student union on the topic of who should best represent the homeless. Gale declined to participate unless given $50 of food from the Wendy's restaurant inside the union. The event organizers declined."

That is pretty much amazing! Next time I'm negotiating something I'm going to request $50 in beverages from Sonic.

The first time I had this dream I thought I was going crazy....the second time I knew I had arrived in Crazyville.

I've had this dream several times where I'm one of the X-Men. Not an actual X-Man, because I have no powers and no cool super hero getup. Instead I spend all my time running away from people with amazing wind producing powers and flame throwing abilities. The dream has ended the same way both times. I make it home and I get in the shower and then this pack of wolves (like in Narnia) come at me through the house and the window in my bathroom. This morning when the wolves got to me one of them turned into a dude in a Smoky the Bear costume. Then my alarm went off and I basically couldn't breathe. What is wrong wit me?!

Seeing Patterns

There is something soothing about making patterns. I don't know what it is or why, but I love making them. I love the idea of taking a letter and reflecting it or turning it and repeating it until it has lost all its letter-ness.

10 Months of IM Pictures

Unable to Swallow Properly

I just choked on my own spit. If someone died from choking on their own spit what would their tomb stone say?

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Graphic Designer, Good time Gal, Always hydrated

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Mario Kart Novice, Whale Expert, Salivary Gland Victim

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Taller than Bridget, Shorter than Adam, Not smart enough to swallow

Guster with Boston Pops

I was talking about this with someone the other day. Take a look.

Feeling things out.

This morning I woke up at 6am...not because my alarm went off, or the stupid kids down the street were launching off fireworks, or even because I had to go to the bathroom. My right eye woke me up at 6am!

It kept watering and watering and watering and I couldn't even open it. Missing work is not an option so I got up and took a shower with my eyes closed, which turned out to be a surprisingly easy task. Until I had to shave my legs at which point I opened my left eye and hoped for the best.

It continued watering after I did all the things I could think of to make it stop...as in I washed my face and put a lot of saline in it. That's pretty much all I could think of.

Two hours later it finally stopped.

Attempting to Drain my Brain of All Knowledge Through D-rated Movies

This weekend I hit my absolute MAX in cheesy movies.

I started the weekend off with this:


Later viewed this one:


Started off my Sunday with this crap:


Followed by this genius...who ever thought they could make an entire movie about marching band?!


And capped off the weekend with this gem.

Something I needed to put out there in the universe

People are so interesting. How is it that in one year you can go from hating someone so much that you contemplate buying a voodoo doll and using it to slowly torture them to hanging out with no awkwardness. It's good to know that that kind of unbridled rage can be watered down over time and eventually disappear.

Rejected from the passport photo lab.

I went to Target today on my lunch break to get my passport photo taken. When I told the chick what I wanted she said me that her manager had to take those and that she was gone for the day. Why would the manager be the only person allowed to take passport photos?

I found this confusing and in true Kristi fashion I decided to come up with a list of 5 reasons why only the Manager of the Target Portrait Studio would be able to take on this important job.

1. Has attitude...was rejected from Slurpee Heaven and decided to take out her wrath on unimposing people in need of passport photos.
2. She has a good eye for passport photos, it's her specialty
3. She has a top notch camera with biometric access and only a drop of her blood will make the shutter go.
4. She was named Target's passport photographer of the year and now the other employees can't take the pressure.
5. Her secret hobby involves photoshopping passport photos and morphing people into B list celebrities.

Well, looks like I'll be going to Kinko’s or Passport Piazza to get these things taken, Target you missed out.

Do I look like a pirate?

I took another fashion risk today and wore a scarf on my head. Not like a headband...like a do-rag. According to Katy it looks cute, but as I found out several weeks ago, some opinions can NOT BE TRUSTED. This realization has caused me to rethink the opinions of nearly every person that I know. I was feeling pretty good about this scarf decision until someone in the office looked at me and said, "Arg."

....now I'm worried.

Continuing saga involving "the crazy lady"

If you recall my March 8, 2006 entry (and I'm sure you all do), I listed off "Five Things I See Everyday on My Way to Work:"

Number three went a little something like this "This creepy lady at the bus stop by the creepy gas station who always waves to me."

Well in the 5 months since I posted that tidbit of information the creepy lady has only become creepier. The creepiness went from waving, to smirking, to bowing, to pointing, and culminated last week when she pointed at me and stuck out her long pointy devil tongue.

After that particular gesture I wanted to throw my car in reverse, take my piece of buttered toast and chuck it at her head. BUT seeing how she has been dubbed "the creepy lady" the rational portion of my brain urged me to keep driving for fear that the next time I opened my blinds in the morning she would be standing there pointing, bowing and tongue wagging.

Nevertheless I have come up with a plan that will enable me to get the last laugh or gesture if you will. On my last day of work, or maybe even the second to last day I plan to give her the old Janis Ian one two...for those unfamiliar that is a friendly wave followed by the popular French up yours motion.

Let me just say that I realize how pathetic and ridiculous this post is and that my JI motion will in no way effect this lady, but I'm the one that had to see her day in and day out and I'm gonna do it!

(Is it just me or am I starting to sound crazy?)

Check Yes or No

The blogging is going downhill; I'm the first to admit this. I applied for my visa yesterday, an interesting process. Several of the questions were pretty funny and got me thinking. One question asked flat out if I was associated with or participated in terrorist activities. Not to knock on the application process or its writing staff, but what terrorist in their right mind would check the yes box on that one?

Maybe I don't understand the terrorrist/terrorrism process enough to see a reason why that box would be checked. As far as I'm concerned you'd have to be the worst terrorist in the world to check that box. I decided to create a list of possible reasons why this box would be checked:

1. New to terrorism...don't know the proper etiquette
2. Accidentally licked the envelope filled with anthrax before you went to fill out the form leaving you in an altered state of consciousness.
3. Drunk after attending terrorrpoluza.
4. Trying to impress terrorist friends.
5. Accidentally checked "yes" while day dreaming of having tea with Osama in his VIP cave.

I think my blog might get picked up by ECHELON today...I'm a little scared.