Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Are You on Notice?

In honor of Stephen Colbert I and my fellow bloggers have decided to create our own "On Notice" and "Dead to Me" lists. But first I would like to take a moment and give a little background on Mr. Colbert. I read up on him today and found two interesting facts about his career.

First off, he and Steve Carell used to host a show called "This Week in God," in which he reported on all things theological with the assistance of the "God Machine." Hilarious.

Second, he, Sedaris and Dinello created Comedy Central's first ever, live-action, narrative series, Strangers with Candy, a twisted take on the classic and typically moralistic after school specials. We gotta find that show. Sounds amazing. Now on to my lists.

The following people, places and things are "ON NOTICE"
1. my garbage man
2. Draco Malfoy
3. Mark Pollei-he needs to call me back
4. Chapstick-i'm addicted and can't live without it now, not good
5. Gorillaz- a. that is not how you spell that
2. how can a digital band give concerts
d. what the h is a digital band?
6. Seran Wrap-that stuff annoys the crap out of me, it doesn't stay put and i can never get that tear strip toothy thing on the box to work
7. Maroon 5-I think we all know it's about time to put out another album-slackers!
8. Prince William-I have yet to see you comment on my blog.
9. The two wrinkles i found under my eyes-I am not that old! Come on!
10. Jenny "no middle name" Willardson-you better blog if you want to get off this list

The following are "dead to me"
1. Beth-obviously
2. Linkin Park, Creed, and Nickelback, they're all the same band as far as i'm concerned-all crap
3. PC's-all of them, even this one I'm typing from right now
4. Un-naturally blue foods-name two foods that occur in nature that are blue....that's right there's only one, lets keep it that way
5. MASH-sorry Annalise and Steve, but I hate that show, especially the opening song-dead
6. Lifetime...the tv network. Enough said.
7. Techno-same thing over and over does not a song make
8. All the Land Before Time sequels (thanks Dane)-how many of those are there now?
9. Pumpkin Pie-yuck!
10. Conoco gas station on Bulldog-a. nasty DC b. ridiculously slow service c. drive thru sucks

For any of you on notice....you know who you are so you better shape up. People who are dead to me.....you've got some work to do to get off that list.

Good luck.


Anonymous said...

boy am i glad i'm not on either of those bad boys. i'll try to punch mark in the gut for you, see what i can do. wholeheartedly agree on M*A*S*H. but pumpkin pie?

Annalise said...

Okay first of all, I don't like M*A*S*H, just for the record. I agree the song sucks, but if you make it past that it occasionally can be mildly entertaining. But I also agree with "anonymous", what's wrong with pumkin pie? Excellent blogging though. Still forming my lists, I'll keep you posted.

jenny said...

PISS! Mash was on my list. I despise Nickelback and Creed, AND IM ON THE 'ON NOTICE' LIST?! I think the only reason I am on it is because you know that anyone else would get legitimately mad at you, but I can take the heat. You suck. I blogged alright? Maybe if you had internet you could read it.. You're so on notice.

Michon said...

man! your lists rocked!!!!!! now im going to seriously work hard on them...tomorrow...while i'm in class...not listening to why a monkey has a huge nose...need i say more...LOVE YOUR BLOG...and right on for givin jenny alittle heat

jenny said...

WHAT THE H!? TAKE ME OFF THE LIST!!! TAKE ME OFF!(SHAKING FIST)... THIS IS PUUURRRED CRAP. That was supposed to say PURE but it might as well be pureed...chopped up with your precious "bullet", and made into a goop of liquified crap in the form of salsa, because you're dead to me.