Quick Story

My mom was helping me move the wicked huge tv box filled with my crap and she says, "What's this filled with? Shoes?!"

I dropped the box and almost peed my pants.

One Moment In Time

My mom asked me a question today.

And I quote:

"Do you think you're going to make it at West Dean?"

This is the moment I decided to go to England, become a kick-a conservator, and make conservation friends (who in no way will replace my American friends).

Side note: This makes me wonder if my mom is asking me this to make sure I'm not wasteing time and money or to get me fired up...something I tend to do when people question my abilities. Guess I'll never know, but if it's the latter it worked.

Another side note: The other girl from BYU that went to West Dean sent me a couple emails asking if 1. I wanted her to leave her cell phone, hair dryer and desk fan for me (H YES!) 2. She told me all about the amazing ward out there and how much she loved the bishop and that they are her English family (cough cough) 3. She told me she got a job at the Yale Center for British Art (HELL YES! That's amazing!!!!!)

Love you all. Miss you more than I could ever say.

Dear Readership,

I got home ok.

Love,
Kristi

10 Reasons Why My Friends are SO Kick-A:

1. They successfully planned a surprise party that I had NO idea about.
2. They HAND MADE Big Ben and West Dean
3. They were planning to go to Cracker Barrel BEFORE I even posted my blog yesterday....see, we do go there for any reason!
4. I was greeted by Jenny in a Big Ben costume...AMAZING!
5. Annalise made a HUGE AMAZING bowl of trifle...ahh the good old days.
6. My castle was perched on rolling hills of fluffy green rug!
7. There were TWO plates of various British goodies!
8. The castle LITERALLY had a draw bridge!
9. Jackie told me an awesome lie about a lonely friend who she texted a joke to...so sneaky!
10. When they found out I was actually buying chips and salsa Jackie called them and they all giggled because they knew they had got away with it....you guys are so funny!

Thank you all so much! I had an awesome time! I love you all!

Miss you miss you

Well my time here is getting short...as in I have 3 days left. It's amazing to me how fast 10 months can go. It's even more amazing when I think about how slow an 8 hour block of my day can go sometimes. If these ten months went that slowly I figure I would be somewhere around the 4 month mark.

Here is a list of things I'm going to miss three days from now:

1. Adam, Andy, Annalise, Jackie, Jenny, Katy, Kristin, Michon (notice those are in alphabetical order so as to avoid offending)
2. Poker parties
3. Watching the Daily 10 with Katy (I already miss that)
4. Scatagories, Georgia O’Keefe, and various other Halloween costumes.
5. Visits to Cracker Barrel for pretty much any reason.
6. Trips to New York with Jackie.
7. Watching Office, Grey's, Lost, 24, occasionally The Loop, ANTM, Runway, Alias (even though that's over), Jep, and all the MANY MANY other shows we watch.
8. Movies and PB on Saturday morning.
9. Craft Saturdays
10. Trips to Target for no reason
11. Bike rides with Jackie
12. Watching obscure movies with Annalise
13. Movie night at J & K's
14. Playing Mario Kart and having to sit 3 feet away from the screen because it's so big
15. Making books with Kristin
16. Picking names for Christmas and then trading for who you want
17. Quilting with Katy
19. Quoting random lines from movies
20. Having lyric knowledge contests with Black Jenny

Let's face it I could do this all day. I'm going to miss everything about the last 10 months, even the stuff that I hated. Because let's face it even the things I hate about this place can't be trumped by the fact that I got to spend 10 more months with all of you.

I'm a Mac

Is it just me or do these never get old?

Being Lulled into a Coma

That's what's happening to me. Just thought you ought to know.

Vagrant Cross-Dressers

Everyone knows I enjoy a good Wikipedia article. I often refer to the "resource" in my blog. If I don't know the answer to pretty much anything I turn to it. Yesterday I was looking up "white papers" because most of the businesses we work with refer to them and I never know what they are or why the are called white papers.

After figuring that out I discovered something AMAZING! Wikipedia has a "random article" button! (I'm sure many of you already knew about this) So I clicked it and the first article I got to was about Leslie Cochran. I pretty much couldn't resist saving the link and making a post out of this dude because the article gave me even more respect for wikipedia. Here is an excerpt from the article:

"Leslie Alicia Cochran (born as Al Leslie Cochran on June 24, 1951) is a vagrant cross-dresser and arguably the most locally famous street person in Austin, Texas. He is an outspoken critic of police treatment of the homeless in the downtown Austin area. Many consider him to be the epitome of the Keep Austin Weird campaign.

In 2000, Leslie ran for mayor against the incumbent Kirk Watson and finished second. His popularity waned in the 2003 election because of his platform to house the homeless in tipis.

In 2004, he challenged Jennifer Gale (another homeless transvestite mayoral candidate) to a debate at the University of Texas student union on the topic of who should best represent the homeless. Gale declined to participate unless given $50 of food from the Wendy's restaurant inside the union. The event organizers declined."

That is pretty much amazing! Next time I'm negotiating something I'm going to request $50 in beverages from Sonic.

The first time I had this dream I thought I was going crazy....the second time I knew I had arrived in Crazyville.

I've had this dream several times where I'm one of the X-Men. Not an actual X-Man, because I have no powers and no cool super hero getup. Instead I spend all my time running away from people with amazing wind producing powers and flame throwing abilities. The dream has ended the same way both times. I make it home and I get in the shower and then this pack of wolves (like in Narnia) come at me through the house and the window in my bathroom. This morning when the wolves got to me one of them turned into a dude in a Smoky the Bear costume. Then my alarm went off and I basically couldn't breathe. What is wrong wit me?!

Seeing Patterns

There is something soothing about making patterns. I don't know what it is or why, but I love making them. I love the idea of taking a letter and reflecting it or turning it and repeating it until it has lost all its letter-ness.

10 Months of IM Pictures

Unable to Swallow Properly

I just choked on my own spit. If someone died from choking on their own spit what would their tomb stone say?

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Graphic Designer, Good time Gal, Always hydrated

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Mario Kart Novice, Whale Expert, Salivary Gland Victim

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Taller than Bridget, Shorter than Adam, Not smart enough to swallow

Guster with Boston Pops

I was talking about this with someone the other day. Take a look.

Feeling things out.

This morning I woke up at 6am...not because my alarm went off, or the stupid kids down the street were launching off fireworks, or even because I had to go to the bathroom. My right eye woke me up at 6am!

It kept watering and watering and watering and I couldn't even open it. Missing work is not an option so I got up and took a shower with my eyes closed, which turned out to be a surprisingly easy task. Until I had to shave my legs at which point I opened my left eye and hoped for the best.

It continued watering after I did all the things I could think of to make it stop...as in I washed my face and put a lot of saline in it. That's pretty much all I could think of.

Two hours later it finally stopped.

Attempting to Drain my Brain of All Knowledge Through D-rated Movies

This weekend I hit my absolute MAX in cheesy movies.

I started the weekend off with this:


Later viewed this one:


Started off my Sunday with this crap:


Followed by this genius...who ever thought they could make an entire movie about marching band?!


And capped off the weekend with this gem.

Something I needed to put out there in the universe

People are so interesting. How is it that in one year you can go from hating someone so much that you contemplate buying a voodoo doll and using it to slowly torture them to hanging out with no awkwardness. It's good to know that that kind of unbridled rage can be watered down over time and eventually disappear.

Rejected from the passport photo lab.

I went to Target today on my lunch break to get my passport photo taken. When I told the chick what I wanted she said me that her manager had to take those and that she was gone for the day. Why would the manager be the only person allowed to take passport photos?

I found this confusing and in true Kristi fashion I decided to come up with a list of 5 reasons why only the Manager of the Target Portrait Studio would be able to take on this important job.

1. Has attitude...was rejected from Slurpee Heaven and decided to take out her wrath on unimposing people in need of passport photos.
2. She has a good eye for passport photos, it's her specialty
3. She has a top notch camera with biometric access and only a drop of her blood will make the shutter go.
4. She was named Target's passport photographer of the year and now the other employees can't take the pressure.
5. Her secret hobby involves photoshopping passport photos and morphing people into B list celebrities.

Well, looks like I'll be going to Kinko’s or Passport Piazza to get these things taken, Target you missed out.

Do I look like a pirate?

I took another fashion risk today and wore a scarf on my head. Not like a headband...like a do-rag. According to Katy it looks cute, but as I found out several weeks ago, some opinions can NOT BE TRUSTED. This realization has caused me to rethink the opinions of nearly every person that I know. I was feeling pretty good about this scarf decision until someone in the office looked at me and said, "Arg."

....now I'm worried.

Continuing saga involving "the crazy lady"

If you recall my March 8, 2006 entry (and I'm sure you all do), I listed off "Five Things I See Everyday on My Way to Work:"

Number three went a little something like this "This creepy lady at the bus stop by the creepy gas station who always waves to me."

Well in the 5 months since I posted that tidbit of information the creepy lady has only become creepier. The creepiness went from waving, to smirking, to bowing, to pointing, and culminated last week when she pointed at me and stuck out her long pointy devil tongue.

After that particular gesture I wanted to throw my car in reverse, take my piece of buttered toast and chuck it at her head. BUT seeing how she has been dubbed "the creepy lady" the rational portion of my brain urged me to keep driving for fear that the next time I opened my blinds in the morning she would be standing there pointing, bowing and tongue wagging.

Nevertheless I have come up with a plan that will enable me to get the last laugh or gesture if you will. On my last day of work, or maybe even the second to last day I plan to give her the old Janis Ian one two...for those unfamiliar that is a friendly wave followed by the popular French up yours motion.

Let me just say that I realize how pathetic and ridiculous this post is and that my JI motion will in no way effect this lady, but I'm the one that had to see her day in and day out and I'm gonna do it!

(Is it just me or am I starting to sound crazy?)

Check Yes or No

The blogging is going downhill; I'm the first to admit this. I applied for my visa yesterday, an interesting process. Several of the questions were pretty funny and got me thinking. One question asked flat out if I was associated with or participated in terrorist activities. Not to knock on the application process or its writing staff, but what terrorist in their right mind would check the yes box on that one?

Maybe I don't understand the terrorrist/terrorrism process enough to see a reason why that box would be checked. As far as I'm concerned you'd have to be the worst terrorist in the world to check that box. I decided to create a list of possible reasons why this box would be checked:

1. New to terrorism...don't know the proper etiquette
2. Accidentally licked the envelope filled with anthrax before you went to fill out the form leaving you in an altered state of consciousness.
3. Drunk after attending terrorrpoluza.
4. Trying to impress terrorist friends.
5. Accidentally checked "yes" while day dreaming of having tea with Osama in his VIP cave.

I think my blog might get picked up by ECHELON today...I'm a little scared.

It's official, I am an E! True Hollywood Story junkie.

Yesterday I signed somewhere around 5 hours of my life away to the series. I now know a ridiculous amount of information about the cast from Full House, the 50 cutest kid stars, the cast of Home Improvement and Hillary Duff.

How on earth have I not been addicted to this before now is beyond me. I am an Us Weekly junkie, love most VH1 shows and am now an E! THS addict...that's right I know the abbreviation and I'm using it.

It's amazing how much information these people can pack into such a small amount of time. It never ceases to amaze me. Without THS I would have never known about;

-Tim Allen doing time for dealing drugs
-That the youngest kid's name from Rosanne was Michael Fischman...the same name as one of my high school friends.
-H Duff's break into show business coming from a movie being filmed on her parents ranch in Texas in which she was an extra

Needless to say the show is amazing and I plan on continuing to watch for quite some time. So Jenny, you can count on my spouting ridiculous facts about New Kids on the Block or the cast from Charles in Charge for the next month.

E!

Yesterday when I came home for lunch Katy was watching E! True Hollywood Story....a show I KNOW we all get hooked into from time to time. I sat down before I realized which story they were telling when all of a sudden the screen went to black and in bold white type it said "New Kids on the Block." I have to say at that moment I knew my day wouldn't get any better.

Sadly, I was never truly immersed in New Kids and didn't get to enjoy the Bop magazines devoted to their likes and dislikes. I never had one of those ginormous buttons attached to my acid washed jean jacket that had a glossy photo of Jordan Knight or Donnie Wahlberg. I truly missed out on this moment in time when 13 year old girls were contemplating giving up their virginity to any member of the band. I was looking up what they are up to now and found myself very depressed for several of the members.

Jonathan Knight for example went on to have a career in real estate. Real estate?! Do you think that his customers ever ask him to hum a few bars of Step by Step? Does he ever break out in synchronized dance numbers to secure a sale? I sure hope so.

Joey McIntyre and Jordan Knight were described by wikipedia as having "moderately successful" albums later in their careers...not too impressive. Maybe these two should join forces and start a show like P-Diddy or start an 80's throwback line of clothing...just an idea boys.

And Donnie Wahlberg is "the most successful since the group" due to his acting roles in Sixth Sense, Band of Brothers, and a role on the short-lived police drama series Boomtown. Congrats Donnie boy, lucky you're a member of the Wahlberg family good jeans, and Marky Mark...can't beat that.

If E! True Hollywood story has taught me anything (and it has), it's that starting your career at the age of 15 will only cause you to peak at 19 and spend the rest of your life on the way downhill. Thanks mom and dad for not letting me pursue that modeling career through Dillards weekend modeling school....man sometimes my life is sad.

Ass cracks? Asterisks? I still don't know what this game is called.

I was thinking about figuring out what the name of this game really was and letting everyone benefit from the information, but I can't bring myself to find any information about it. Instead I choose to believe that the one thing tipping the scales on whether or not Adam would purchase a Mac is a game called "ass cracks."

When I was in rehab.

Best moment of this weekend. I'm lying on K&J's couch watching Felicity. I turn to Jenny and say, "I've been wanting to do this for weeks."

Jenny: "What, nothing?"

Kristi: "Yes."

Thanks for the great weekend.

Hair sticking out of the side of my head.

I took a time machine back to 1988 this morning and decided to rock the side ponytail. Don't get me wrong this is a revision of the 80's style, lower and a little swirly, but still all to one side. My earliest memory of a side ponytail is around 3rd grade; although I have no doubt my mom had me wearing them much earlier. I remember having really long light blond hair and it was all pulled to the side as I searched for a book in the Wells Elementary Library. Good times.

I gotta say now that I have left my house the idea seems much more stupid than when I was in the comfort of my well lit bathroom with yummy fragrances lulling me into submission. I'm gonna stick it out though. I was looking into the history of the side pony and came across this website where you can sign a petition to save the dying hairstyle, pretty funny. Anyway, a big shout out to J and K for putting this idea into and on my head.

Well the new title is up. Thanks and congrats to Annalise for the great pick. For those of you that are unfamiliar it's the title of a Pink Floyd album.


According to Wikipedia Pink Floyd played to its biggest audience EVER on July 2, 2005 at Live 8....and Annalise and I were there. Ok, that last bit wasn't in the Wikipedia article, but the first part is true.

A Lapse of Reason was recorded during a hard time for the band, after a bitter legal dispute between David Gilmour and Nick Mason over the legal right for the band to continue on as "Pink Floyd", the lawsuit was eventually settled out of court. The band ended up seeking help from then outside writer Gilmour, and the end product is often referred to as a David Gilmour solo effort.

While many people consider Dark Side of the Moon Pink Floyd's greatest accomplishment my favorite album is The Wall.

Thanks again Annalise.

Shouting From My Soap Box

I never like to bring up boring technology based topics in this pop culture driven blog, however today I am at my wits end. My work computer is a PC an HP Media Center with a good graphics card (aka runs quick, works well with my design programs), runs quick, and haven’t had any problems with it other than the fact that it is not a Mac.

I recently downloaded the new version of MSN Messenger that has been renamed Windows Live Messenger. I'll admit it has some great new features, blah blah blah. BUT ever since I installed it my computer has been running slower and crashing twice....nay 1 million times more often. I never subscribed to the idea that Microsoft was the equivalent of the Walmart of technology based companies, raping the industry of its dignity and forcing it to bend over for an ass kicking, however I now feel differently. I think Microsoft is an evil genius plotting to take over everyone’s computers and systems until we are all bowing down in unison to the Mecca that is the 4 waving flags of "truth".

I know what many of you are thinking, Apple is doing it too....(I choose not to believe this). BUT at least Apple has the courtesy of camouflaging their agenda with sleek computer designs and awesome program interfaces that make me feel like a kid in a room of shiny objects. I don't really know where I'm going with this one, but I just had to put those opinions out there into the universe.

The Blog Heard Round the World

I have explained Google Analytics to a couple of you...I'm sorry if I bored you, but this is a map of my blog visitors according to their location. I though it was pretty cool, I have listed some cities of note and a fun fact for your enjoyment.

Scranton, PA
Scranton is nestled in the Lackawanna River valley and is known for it's iron, coal and railroads. More importantly Scranton is home to Dundir Miflin, employees we all know and love. Stay classy Scranton.

Izmir, Turkey
"The pearl of the Aegean". It is widely regarded as one of the most liberal Turkish cities in terms of values, ideology, lifestyle, dynamism and gender roles. Welcome aboard.

Bangalore, India
Bangalore is known as the Garden City of India because of its climate, greenery and the presence of many public parks. Maybe people are using their laptops in the parks reading my blog. I'm choosing to believe this.

Canberra, Australia
The capital city of Australia and with a population of just over 325,000 is Australia's largest inland city. Had no idea Canberra was the capital of Australia...learn something new everyday. Thanks Canberra.

Payback for a sucky quiz.

Happy 150th Post!!!!!!!!!

150 posts ago my life was totally different. Before I coined the term "readership" and started saying things like "that's a blog title if I ever heard one" my life had a little void in it....that later turned into a huge gaping void. That void was filled by this little soap box where I like to spout ridiculousness and contaminate the minds of others with pop culture, crazy dreams and lists of all kinds.

In honor of this lovely box of blarney I have taken the cue from others to create a quiz. A quiz devoted to this blog and its contents. Let's see how much of my frivolity you have actually retained. No cheating! The winner gets to rename my blog.

On to the quiz!

Falling off the Blogon

Dear Readership,

As of late my blogging has been inconsistent (aka non-existent). For this I am very sorry. I have been very busy and have not had the time to formulate a cohesive statement until now. Perhaps I will start audio blogging for a while. Here are three things I have been thinking about recently, and hope to use for future blog topics. (this is to keep you interested...like a sneak preview or a teaser if you will).

1. Super heroes
2. British hospitality
3. Ridiculous quizzes that have questions that are impossible to answer.

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today it took me 3 hours to commute to work, a journey that usually took 1 hour. London was attacked by cowards and I had the privledge of listening to this statement made by Prime Minister Tony Blair. I know it looks long, but it's worth the read.

This has been a most terrible and tragic atrocity that has cost many innocent lives. I have just attended a meeting of the government's Emergency Committee, received a full report from the Ministers and the officials responsible. There will be announcements made in respect of the various services, in particular we hope the Underground, insofar as is possible, and rail and bus services are up and running as swiftly as possible.

I would like again to express my profound condolences to the families of the victims, and to those who are casualties of this terrorist act. I would also like to thank the emergency services that have been magnificent today in every respect. There will of course now be the most intense police and security service action to make sure that we bring those responsible to justice. I would also pay tribute to the stoicism and resilience of the people of London, who have responded in a way typical of them.

In addition I welcome the statement that has been put out by the Muslim Council of Great Britain. We know that these people act in the name of Islam, but we also know that the vast and overwhelming majority of Muslims, here and abroad, are decent and law-abiding people who abhor this act of terrorism every bit as much as we do.

It is through terrorism that the people that have committed this terrible act express their values, and it is right at this moment that we demonstrate ours. I think we all know what they are trying to do - they are trying to use the slaughter of innocent people to cower us, to frighten us out of doing the things that we want to do, of trying to stop us going about our business as normal, as we are entitled to do, and they should not, and they must not, succeed.

When they try to intimidate us, we will not be intimidated. When they seek to change our country or our way of life by these methods, we will not be changed. When they try to divide our people or weaken our resolve, we will not be divided and our resolve will hold firm. We will show, by our spirit and dignity, and by our quiet but true strength that there is in the British people, that our values will long outlast theirs. The purpose of terrorism is just that, it is to terrorise people, and we will not be terrorised.

I would like once again to express my sympathy and my sorrow to those families who will be grieving, so unexpectedly and tragically, tonight. This is a very sad day for the British people, but we will hold true to the British way of life.

Thank you.

At that moment I had never been more proud of the British and I consider myself lucky to have lived with them.

6 More Years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure everyone already knew this.

Pasties and a Maxi Pad

All hale Santino.

Many people are opposed to this notorious cast member of Project Runway (Jenny, Maddie, others I'm sure), however last night I witnessed the funniest line in PR history. Second only to the Andre/Tim Red Lobster scenario which was amazing!

After producing 12 pieces for their final runway show they were told they had to make one more before they hit the runway. Needless to say all three designers almost collapsed the ground like Britney Spears after realizing she was not a girl anymore, but a knocked up woman.

Santino was contemplating sending a naked women down the runway, and then had a stroke of genius, deciding to send her out in pasties and a maxi pad. Don't worry, he didn't really do it. It was at this moment that I knew I would be bound to this show forever.

Thank you Santino.

Best moment of my 4th of July:

Michon, her mom and her sister are sitting on the back row in Devil Wears Prada and I'm sitting next to these two old ladies that make full voice comments throughout the movie. Andy has just left the Dragon Lady in Paris and the scene goes back to NY and they show the BROOKLYN BRIDGE. The lady next to me says (in a very country voice),

"She's back in San Francisco."

I nearly peed my pants.

I Love Sports Guy

"10:20 -- The Mavs take Maurice Ager at No. 28. He puts his head in his hands and starts sobbing hysterically as his entourage congratulates him. It's about time we had some emotion tonight, dammit. Ager walks up to the stage in a triple-breasted, oversized beige suit, goes to shake hands with Stern and immediately gets whistled for a foul on Dwyane Wade."

Is it just me or will that joke never get old?

Clover in Syracuse: "I think I farted twice on the couch during this series -- and I was called for two fouls against Dwyane Wade."

Nope, it sure doesn't.

Evolution of a Nickname

This weekend I was introduced to the most famous member of the Willy family (other than Ryan)...Wendy. I arrived and was instantly given a walk on roll on the Wendy show and gladly accepted.

On Sunday night we played a game of "Ooder Deeder" also known as Up the River Down the River and I was able to see the evolution of a nickname take place.

Here's how it started and where it ended:
Kristi (actual name)
K-town (too confusing)
Crisco (not my favorite)
Cristo
Monte Cristo
Monte

That's right in two hours I went from being a city, to a tub of animal fat, to a place (or a sandwich), and finally I ended up being an 80 year old man wearing suspenders and a comb over. Amazing!

Treasure in the Workplace

In a meeting at work today my boss quoted National Treasure, the part where Ben Gates is talking about Thomas Edison...."I didn't fail, I found 2,000 ways how not to make a light bulb; I only need to find one way to make it work."

It was amazing.
Jenny, that was for you.

NSYNC*

I had a dream today when iTunes shuffled to Guster's "Fa Fa". It would have been so cool if someone had called me right as the chorus sounded. Then my ring tone and my shuffle would be in sync. Why didn't anyone call me?!

Text Message Diary June 20th

10:05pm - "So sorry man. That's total bullshit."

11:42pm - I dont think i would marry any of them...Well maybe dwayne wade because hes a balla"
(in response to me saying I would gladly marry Dirk)

12:06am - Shit!!! f f f Shit.

12:19am - F. Im so sad. Mffl. We got a young good team and we aint leavin any time soon. Half the heat team should retire. Mffl.

Dear Mavs,

Thank you for giving me hours and hours of joy, pain, triumph, and defeat. I have not been this excited to watch basketball since the Jordan days, and I'm not talking about when he came out of retirement for the second time. You showed the league what the game is all about. Gave us a glimpse of a league where a title isn't won by a single player (cough cough Wade). Your unselfish desire to win using teamwork and willingness to work together in order to accomplish a common goal gave me the hope that the NBA is not going to crap.

Dirk - Thanks for the sneers, the beautiful 3's and the raw German power

Jet - It was you who brought me into the fold, once I learned about your superstitions I was hooked. Here's to tall socks, chicken, and rainbow jumpers.

Devon - So much talent and you're so young, I gotta say I'm excited to see where your game is headed.

Josh - Clutch, that's all I've got to say.

Griff - You're a good starter and a powerful force to recon with.

Diop - Thanks for the dunks and for stuffing Shaq a couple times.

Stack - You are one bad ass mofo, always hitting 3's, driving to the basket and I'll never forget how you brought Shaq crashing to the floor.

Marquis - You're a dark horse, thanks for bringing it tonight.

Damp - Old school look with new school moves.

Avery - The Little General, coach of the year, our fearless leader, I salute you.

Kristin and Jenny - Thanks for helping me renew my love of the game.

I will mourn this loss, but I look forward to next season. Please don't tear this team apart come draft time.

MFFL,
Kristi

"If you enjoyed the Spurs-Mavs and Suns-Mavs series this year, just root for Dallas these last two games. Trust me. It's for the best."

--Sports Guy

GO MAVS!

Me & EMINEM

Ok, last night was a tough night to say the least. I wanted to reach into my TV and pants Wade in front of the entire Miami crowd and I was even willing to suffer the consequences of the crown wrath. Since that can't really happen the only choice I was left with was to change the channel IMMEDIATLY after the game ended to as to avoid my brain being scrambled by his inability to construct a proper sentence.

I went to bed angry not to mention I read a chapter or two of A Million Little Pieces by James Frey before turning off the lights. Basically it's a book where every other word is F.; the holes are filled with a dude that is addicted to pretty much everything going through detox...and it's not going well. In other words it's an angry book.

I had a dream this morning of note that I believe stem from the game anger and the book rage.

I'm sitting at a diner type restaurant and across the table from me is EMINEM...that's right, Marshall Mathers. We're just chilling eating dinner and talking about music and my cousins are playing volleyball outside the window. Marshal asks me if I know them and I say yes, they're my cousins. Then he tells me he wants to play too. That's it...then it ends. Who knows what could have happened if my alarm didn't go off.

I could have been his new producer, 50 Cent could have walked in, anything is possible.

Regardless, you don't get much more rage than EMINEM unless you're entering prison territory and I'm pretty glad that didn't happen.

Here's my theory about the dream. I'm eating with EMINEM because he's a rapper....Dirk loves rap. Dirk is also no doubt stricken with anger right now and is turning to rap to release that tension. In an effort to put those emotions towards something with purpose he has turned to the court, much like M joining in a friendly game of volleyball. Needless to say when it all comes down to it Dirk is busy getting his edge back while Shaq is being mauled by his "husky" daughters.

Meanwhile Stack is hitting 3 after 3 in the practice gym while his personal assistant is sticking pins in his Wade voodoo doll, so he can have plenty of excuses to tell the media when the Heat lose the NBA Finals.

Kristi's Week in Pictures

Ate here.Did French stuff at work.Watched this.Felt like this.Got this done.Watched him.Watched this.Did this.

Bridezilla!

Every Friday morning after I check my email I sign out and on the front of the MSN page is a feature called "The Week in Pictures". I always like to take a look throught the ten or so pictures they post from around the world and every once in a while one comes along that is pretty much amazing, today was that day.

And down the aisle they come!

Brides-to-be race in the annual Bridezilla competition for a $25,000 dream wedding in New York City's Times Square on June 12.

I realize that I'm probably the only person who actually listens to podcasts, but here's one to listen to.

Keane has an Under The Iron Sea podcast with clips from their new album and the stories behind the songs. Check it out, it's good. Listen to episode 2 for the story behind Is It Any Wonder and if you want to hear classic Keane sound try episode 4.

Bushism

"Now we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement--retiring--in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring."
-Alexandria, Virginia; February 12, 2003

Say retire again.

Touché

Three new Apple commercials!Watch

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

The 2006 World Cup started this weekend and things got off to a roaring start. Annalise and I have decided to dedicate ourselves to The Mother Country for this competition of skill and sweet moves, and Steve has devoted his life to watching every game (pretty sweet). Therefore, we watched England v. Paraguay on Saturday.

They kept referring to England as "The Three Lions" and none of us knew what that meant exactly. According to Wikipedia, a source I have decided I quote far too often, The Three Lions on the England coat of arms comes from Richard I also known as Richard the Lionhearted.

"In 1198, his great seal bore a single rampant lion, but his shield was "Gules three lions passant guardant," the three lions reportedly representing England, Normandy, and Aquitaine. Same arms continued for John, Henry III, Edward I, and Edward II."

While I do enjoy that explanation (however little sense it made), I have decided to do a three lion redesign. In honor of the World Cup and England, and hot football players the world over I have designed a new Three Lions coat of arms:

Items in picture are smaller than they appear

A Visit to Sonic

Jackie: (Pushes big red button.)
"Three .99 splits with caramel and chocolate.

Sonic Box: "shseiefefjaeofiaetrg ok"

Jackie: "OK, bye!"

Moments later: Window rolls down and car hop approaches

Jackie: (Looks at splits, then gaze goes to picture on menu board) "Those are tiny"

Car Hop: (turns and looks at ad on menu board) "Yep"

Annalise told me last night that The Killers were back in the studio so I decided to investigate. I found this article in which front man Brandon Flowers says their new stuff will make you "feel dirty." Not exactly sure what that means but I like it, and I can't wait to be drentched in filth.

ps. When I googled The Killers in google images it came up with everything from OJ Simpson to Hamburger Helper...amazing.

It's Go Time

Admiral Horatio Nelson

The last couple times I visited the Trafalgar Square webcam courtesy of Banalise's blog, I have noticed the building of scaffolding around Nelson's Column.Quick history lesson courtesy of Wikipedia:

The column was built between 1840 and 1843 to commemorate Admiral Horatio Nelson's death at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805. The 18ft statue of Nelson stands on top of a 183 ft granite column. The statue faces south, towards the Palace of Westminster and along Pall Mall, where his ships are represented on the top of each flagpole. The top of the Corinthian column is decorated with bronze acanthus leaves cast from British cannons. The square pedestal is decorated with four bronze panels, cast from captured French guns, depicting Nelson's four great victories.

Pretty cool. If you want to learn more about the restoration go here.

If you want to see the panoramic view from the top of the column go here.

BFF

Check out this picture...so amazing. Read this if you have some time on your hands. It was pretty long, so pace yourself, but I found it enjoyable.