Am I a member of the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

The other day I was going to the bus stop and my friend asked if I wanted to take a short cut through the grave yard to get there faster. It was at that moment that I heard that little voice in my head screaming "don't do it!" We've all seen this scene in movies and tv shows and I think we all know what happens when the short cut is taken. So in true horror movie fashion I ignored the voice, opened the gate and proceeded through the sea of tomb stones. It was pretty creepy, but I made it out ok.

Music Update

I'm not sure if this song is popular in the states or not, but I really like it. It's a little Scissor Sisters-ish, very happy and upbeat. It's by a guy called Mika and the song is Grace Kelly.

Dear Jackie,

James Morrison is the free song of the week on iTunes!

Enjoy.
Kristi

Dear Kristin,

Where has your blog gone?

Love,
Kristi

This weekend I went to a barber shop concert....I know, how weird is that. There was a 30 man strong barber shop choir at West Dean this weekend for a workshop with some American barber shop extraordinaire and on Saturday night they had a one hour concert. It was one of those moments in life when you're sitting there wondering if it was a dream or reality. Imagine 30 grown (and many retired) men belting out Zip-a-dee-doo-dah in 4 part harmony while doing jazz hands and making uncomfortable eye contact with you, it was awesome.

Do You Segway?

I was doing pretty much everything I could think of today to not make my Powerpoint presentation about how to safely regulate the temperature and moisture content of a chained library (still there? did that put you to sleep yet?) when I came across a Segway tour of Amsterdam. I really wanted to go on one when I visited the W's in Balboa, but was informed it was quite an expensive day of ridiculousness. Well, I looked into it and apparently Balboa isn't the only place ripping off people. It costs 60 euros to go on a Segway tour of Amsterdam! At a loss about this I decided to visit the Segway website to see how much these mothers are. They had an option to "build your own Segway" so I clicked and made my own that will set me back a mere 5 grand! It's times like these I wish I was rich so I could buy a fleet of Segways and start leading people around West Dean for 60 pounds a pop.

I have a question

There is an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie is dating a European man that is very old world romantic. He does things like read her poetry, write her songs and dance with her in front of the Met. When I write all of those out in a list like that it seems romantic and exhilarating yet cheesy and ridiculous. I would like to believe that if that were to happen to me I would be able to contain my inner teenager laughing and pointing, but I'm not sure I could do it. This whole thing started when a friend of mine well call her "Phonia" began receiving love poems from someone quite frequently. While I enjoyed hearing about how thoughtful they were I couldn't help thinking to myself how cheesy this was and how I had no idea what they meant. Could you handle being romanced like this?, cause I'm pretty sure that I couldn't.

Retraction

I recently posted the release date of the new Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows....I was wrong. Apparently Amazon.com had the wrong date listed on their site, it will not be available on March 31st as previously specified, but come July 21st you will not be able to pry that book from kung-fu grip.

Quick question....Sape Friend of Foe?
I say friend. Kristin I expect to read a kick-a blog entry with your answer and a detailed list of reasons why you made your decision.

It's official! Bring on the windmills, tulips and wooden shoes! Jackie and I are heading to Amsterdam! I'm so excited!

A Question Was Posed

What do you do with a hot water bottle that wears a sweater?

1. use it to warm up your bed before you get in
2. put it on a sore muscle
3. give it a good squeeze when you are having "a little problem" (Harm speak for your time of the month)
3. zip it in under your coat and pretend you're pregnant
4. dress it up and take it out for a night on the town

Those are just a couple ideas.

Say Hello to my Little Friend

Every night when Catherine, Sonia and I meet up for our evening ritual of coffee and hot chocolate Sonia boils a kettle to fill her hot water bottle with. It is not an ordinary hot water bottle as it has its own cashmere cover (she only does cashmere, nothing else). Well tonight Catherine and I broke down and ordered our own cashmere hot water bottles. Mine is green and Catherine's is pink. I never thought I could get this excited about a rubber bottle with its own sweater.

Katy and Baby Jack

Chirstmas Ball Pictures

Just thought ya'll might want to see some pictures from the West Dean Christmas Ball.

Me & HarmWicked Bass Player
Alex & Sonia
Laurel & Hardy

Nigel & Imagen

In an effort to put off the writing of a really boring science assignment I have been categorizing my blog entries (notice the new set of labels attached to each post). This has given me the chance to go back and re-read bits of each entry in order to attach it to a specific label, a job not easily done as many of my posts are riddled with ridiculous comparisons and inarticulate thoughts. Nevertheless it has brought me to the conclusion that my posts are not nearly as funny as they used to be. What has happened?! In the beginning is was like "joke joke joke" and now it's "Hi I'm Kristi, this is what I did today". BORING! There are several obvious differences between the posts of yore and the posts of today.

1. I was working at a place where I spent around 50% of my day coming up with and perfecting my posts in order to maximize the funny.
2. I was surrounded by REALLY funny people (obviously not while at work, but the other hours of the day).
3. I was able to relate to said funny people with the help of several TV and inside joke references.

Needless to say I need to "up my funny" or start making up some really sweet stories about my new British friends "Nigel" and "Imagen".

Snow!

Yesterday my alarm went off at 7:30am as usual and as I was walking past the window near my bathroom I saw white out of the corner of my eye! It had snowed! I realize that to all of you living in the butt cold of Utah this is not an exciting thing, but it actually made me miss Provo (well maybe not Provo the city, but the people and events that took place there) and the snowy mountains. It was also Harm's birthday so that was a wonderful gift for him on his special day. A bunch of us went out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant (that was actually really good) and then moved on to a celebratory drink at the local pub. As Harm and I were walking back to the Dower House he said that it was one of his best birthdays, and I must say it was a lovely evening of well mannered frivolity.

Jenna just sent me this picture of Kate's first sleepover! I couldn't resist sharing it!

Baby Jack has arrived!

I just opened this email from Katy and thought you might want to see it too.

After 41 weeks 12 hours and 29 minutes, baby Jack has finally arrived! We are so excited to finally be parents and very nervous to take him home. Jack was born 7 lbs 9oz and 19 inches long.

After reaching a week over the due date, Katy and I decided yesterday to hit the track for about an hour. Later on Saturday night after dinner, Katy's contractions started to increase and were around 6-10 minutes apart. We arrived home after eating some dinner and were bored out of our minds. Believe it or not, I was actually reading a book on a Saturday night. As the night progressed the contractions started to increase to a consistant 6 minutes apart and at that point we decided to go to the hospital at 10:45pm.

Only dialated to a three, we took doctor's orders to walk around the nurses station for about a half hour. I don't believe I have ever seen a woman go from being in pretty good condition to one who can't walk anymore in a matter of minutes. Contractions intensified and Katy went from a 3 to a 5. At this point, Dr. Rice (our doctor) decided to admit her.

After getting into a room, Katy's wish came true very quickly; she recieved an epidural before even being officially admitted. Finally, after about 11 hours of heavy contractions, Katy started to push around 11am. At 12:29 pm on Sunday, Jack William Warren was born. He is a beautiful baby with a very, very cone shaped head.

We plan to stay a couple days in the hospital returning home on Tuesday. Thanks for all the support and prayers.

Love,

Clay and Katy

To those interested,

I was just re-watching a couple episodes of season 2 of Sex and the City and there is an episode where Miranda dates Gob. Ironically it is the episode about fetishes and he is obsessed with having sex in public places. The whole time I was waiting for him to perform some sort of illusion.

Just thought you might want to know,
K

Dear Jack Bauer,

Good luck on the container ship. May your next 24 hours be filled with kick-a killings, roundhouse kicks, and the trust of others.

Love,
Kristi

Catherine often uses three excuses.
1. She's ginger
2. She's a woman
3. She's gay

I tried to use the "same: three excuses this evening and came up with these:
1. I'm blonde
2. I'm a woman
3. I'm an American

Not quite the same. She called me the superior race.

Sticky Sticky Web

I went to a pub the other night called The Fox Goes Free and there was a live blues/jazzy type band playing. One of the members of the band was visiting from Boston and (Jenny pay attention) she played the harmonica REALLY well. So well that the majority of the time she was playing I found myself gasping for air because I was convinced she was going to pass out due to lack of oxygen. The best part was when she played a song called Sticky Web where she went on and on saying things like "my web is very sticky" only instead of the 6 or so notes that phrase could take she was dragging it out for 27. The best part was all I could think of was Phebe and her sexy phlegm as she sang Sticky Shoes.

Westwarts? Hogdean?

Well Jenny, I finally remembered to look up the title of the new Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Sounds scary. AND I had no idea it comes out March 31st! That is soooo soon! Just in time for my Easter holiday in fact! I couldn't be more excited! All this thinking about Harry Potter got me thinking about how similar Hogwarts is to West Dean....thus I have compiled a list of similarities.

1. Hogwarts is a castle -- West Dean is also a castle
2. Hogwarts has a whomping willow -- While the West Dean whomping willow does not whomp, it looks just like THE Whomping Willow
3. Students at Hogwarts celebrate by having a winter ball in the great hall -- West Dean students celebrated Christmas by having a fancy dress ball in the Oak Hall
4. Everyday Hogwarts students eat breakfast lunch and dinner together in a great hall where their meals magically appear -- Everyday West Dean students gather together and eat meals prepared by a not quite as magic kitchen staff.
5. Hogwarts is haunted by several ghosts -- West Dean has had several ghost sightings throughout the house
6. Hogwarts students have houses and secret passageways to their common rooms and dormitories -- West Dean has 7 programs and each one has a hidden away workshop within the college that is guarded by a secret code.
7. Hogwarts mail is delivered by owls -- West Dean HAS an owl. (ok that one was a long shot, but I can hear the hooting of an owl every night as I'm falling asleep)

Ok, I could go on and on about the similarities, but I'll spare you. Needless to say I am REALLY excited for the new Harry Potter book and can't wait to see what happens!

iMazing

I realize that every 4-6 months I go off about how amazing Apple is...but I gotta do it one more time. First of all I went to the Apple website to replace the shuffle charger that the airline managed to completely CRUSH on my flight here, but to my surprise I was greeted by the above image. So Apple is going to combine an iPod, a phone and the Internet into this amazing device called iPhone. I won't go into all of the kick-a features of this little miracle, but I will say that the HUGE screen is all touch activated...pretty sweet. This got me thinking about something else I saw over Christmas that made me love Apple even more.

I was walking through the mall and my sister and I see this really big vending machine filled with iPods and iPod accessories. That's right people, there was a GIANT iPod VENDING MACHINE IN THE MALL!!!!!! Those people at apple are always thinking! I wish I was one of them. Maybe they have some old computer manuals I can conserve for them.

Back at West Deania

Well I'm back in West Dean again. Sometimes I feel like I live in Groundhogs Day. I am seriously living the same day over and over again. It's weird....and slightly annoying. Things here are going as usual. We have jumped right back into the swing of things and each day is full of lectures and practical work. I think I'm coming down with something as my throat is feeling like somebody dragged a porcupine down it and then rinsed it off with a little salt and lemon. (too graphic...probably so) Man this is turning into a downer of a post, I'm so sorry.

Lets lift it up a little. I finally checked out the Scissor Sisters web page and made a couple videos for my own enjoyment. Still wasn't able to see the ones K and J made for me, but atleast now I have a clue as to what they look like. I made one of Harm and Sonia that was pretty priceless. I can see how that would easily keep anyone entertained for days.

Anyway, just wanted to update ya'll on what's going on here and how I'm filling my time.

Dear Readership,

I miss you.

Love,
Kristi

ready or not here I come

This afternoon I brought out my inner child by playing hide and go seek with Kate. It was unlike any challenge I have ever undertaken. After counting to the specified number of 22 I would go and look for her through the house. The best part was that after looking for less than one minute I would hear "I'm in Jill's room!". It was awesome! Man that girl is funny!

No Bull

The other day I decided to take a walk around the block (our block is 1.5 miles) to get some fresh air and enjoy the 70 degree Texas weather. I took the time to pet several horses from different pastures as I went and was lucky enough to have one follow me along the fence because it liked me so much. As I got closer to the main enterance to our neighborhood I heard two bulls from different pastures screaming at one another. One bull had horns and the other was the size of Sloth from Goonies. Needless to say walking between the two pastures where these two were facing off was a little scary...and matters became much worse when the horned beast noticed me and started following me along the fence while charging and mooing at me. It was at this point that I decided animals on the whole do not like me.

Exhibit A - The charging pecking chicken previously mentioned in another post

Exhibit B - The goose that charged me at a pub in Portsmouth

Edhibit C - Los Bull who also charged me and would have killed me had the fence not been there.

It is for the three above reasons that I have decided to place charging animals with a mean disposition on my "dead to me list". Take that suckas!

1 Year Annaversery!

Well one year and two days ago today I joined the blogosphere. And you what promped the whole thing to start? I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia with Annalise and Kelly and before the show started Annalise went to buy a package of Red Vines (crazy deliscious). As Kelly and I were sitting there somehow we got on the topic of blogs and what they were. At the end of the conversation I still had no idea what a blog was and decided to check it out the next day at work. In a last stitch effort to fill my day with something to do at I started a blog to unload my meaningless deivle on others. Thus my blog was born.

It's been an amazing investment of time and typing skills, google skills, photoshop skills and occasionally list making skills. In an effort to keep up on those skills I decided to make a couple lists, none of which have much relevance to one another.

Top 8 post titles:
8. Jolly Bunch of A**holes
7. All I want for Christmukkah is a Bar Mitz-vahkkah
6. Two Jacks, a crooked puppet, and a knocked up chick
5. does it look like i'm "hitn' that"?
4. "It's not like I "o-pah-ed" her plate"
3. The cackle of a man who's ankle should be broken.
2. I love lists. Lists, lists, lists
1. You bring your baby, I'll bring my dog and we'll meet at PetsMart. (thanks J)

8 Favorite British-isms
1. Pleased as punch: so happy you could drink a whole lot of punch
2. Nackered: to be shattered
3. Shattered: to be nackered
4. Foofle: to mess around and waste time
5. Two bites of a cherry: doing something the hard way
6. fagging winger: what Sonia says when she's trying to say wagging finger
7. Twit: jerk...but so much better
8. Tosser: glorified twit

3 nicknames I have received recently
Nursie Nurseberg
Bossie Bossberg
Drunkie Drunkberg (don't worry I wasn't drunk)
This game goes on and on with my name these days, it's really pretty funny.

One year of post reading and this is what I reward you, my readership with....I'm so sorry.

Call for Entries

A week from today is the West Dean Christmas party. It's "fancy dress" also known as a costume party in American. The theme is the 1920's or murder mystery...the theme keeps changing, but I'm sure if I came dressed as either of those it would be ok. I was planning on going as Velma from Scooby-Doo, however I have not been able to locate a short red wig...and as it turns out she doesn't wear the outfit I thought she did....so I don't have the right clothes anyway. In short the plan is crap and not gonna happen. So basically I have no costume and no plan and no other great idea for what to wear. In this time of need I am turning to you, my readership to help me solve this problem, or atleast give me some new ideas as my reservoir has run dry.

Happy Sint Nicholaas Day!

Last night Catherine, Jenny, Sonia, Harm and I gathered together next to the roaring fire in the Oak Hall for a night of Dutch tradition. In Holland they celebrate Sint Nicholaas day on the 6th of December. On the night of December 5th children put their wooden shoes in front of the chimney with a carrot or hay for Sint Nicholaas' horse. The next day the shoes have a little gift if the child has been good and salt & pepper if they were naughty. It is also tradition to receive the first letter of your name made of chocolate, Harm was lucky enough to receive a H and a J from his family.

Catherine got Harm a tiny hammer and Sonia and I got him a bottle of tomato ketchup. Harm LOVES tomato ketchup and never ceases to amaze me with his new uses of the condiment. We decided to wrap them in about 20 layers of paper, boxes and bags to make things a little more fun.

Chocolate letters are hard to find in England so he gave each of us a little bag of chocolates from Montazuma's (a really good chocolate shop). We all sat around enjoying one anther's company eating traditional Dutch biscuits, candies and crisps for an hour or so. The whole evening was gorgeous (and now I can't wait for Christmas).

A moment I probably should have had a long time ago

I have never been in a position where I was receiving pressure from people to drink....until now. Last night I was sitting with some friends in the Stewards Bar (the bar in the college) and a fellow student kept asking me if I wanted a drink. I kept replying no, and then he said something that made me think.

If I continue to not drink and then gave it a try later in life would i look back on my 20's or 30's and think I had missed out on something?

It's questions like that one that worry me, because my brain started whirling around and I can't make it stop.

Chip & Lundges

Yesterday Harm, Catherine and I went on a little trip to Brighton (a city that is a 45 minute drive away). Brighton is a beautiful city by the sea with lots of cute colorful streets filled with shopping and restaurants. We had a wonderful day there eating cake and strolling the streets window shopping, basically enjoying one anothers company. I had to go to Rachel's (a girl from the books program) for Thanksgiving dinner so we set off around 4pm to get back for dinner at 5pm (I was planning on being fashionably late). Well after a train, another train that was delayed due to "youth causing mayhem", a third train, a bus (which almost ran us over), a little hail, another delayed train and a taxi we were finally back in Westdeania. It took us 3.5 hours to get home! And to top it all off once we were back in Chichester I slipped on a greasy chip causing me to rein act a move from Flashdance. It was awesome.

Dream Dream Dream

I've been having really weird dreams lately. One involving me and Jenny roller skating in the rain in London. Another where I was in a military training camp with a girl called Sarah and she was making me blow a whistle that would give away my position. And finally last night I was asleep for maybe 45 minutes and I screamed a little whimper of a scream and woke myself up. I had no idea what the hell happened. I think my brain needs some conserving.

Pretty Stuff

Last night Harm was working on his essay in the computer suite while I chatted with Annalise and distracted Catherine from working on her essay. At the end of the evening Harm told me what his favorite English words are pretty and stuff. He had made this decision because they are words that have so many uses. It was at this moment that I decided I couldn't agree more...not to mention the fact that I was so proud of him making that decision as Catherine and I try to use those two words as much as humanly possible in life. Well done.

Today I told my friend Jenny about the BYU honor code...something I did NOT want to ever talk to people about. After explaining what's in said code her exact words were, "i can't even wrap my mind around that."
It's moments like these that I realize how strange our religion can really be.

I decided to check up on the news today in an effort to stay connected with the US of A. This was one of the top stories on MSNBC.com.

Here's a teaser in case you don't want to click through: "There’s a California sea lion that’s either brain damaged — or frisky."

Looks like I'm not missing too much.

James Morrison

I'm not sure if this guy is big in the states yet, but just wanted to give you a heads up. James Morrison...I'm a big fan. To learn more go here. I also found a podcast on iTunes with more about him and a better listen to his music, but I don't think the album is on the USA iTunes store yet. I really like "Wonderful World", the video is on his website. Enjoy.

Birthday Stuff

Well another year older. As many of you know I am now 25, some would say a quarter of a century. (actually many many people did say that to me) All in all it was a great birthday. The first 9 hours pretty much sucked, but the last last 5 made all the difference. I spent the entire day on my birthday making a knife used to thin down leather. We're talking 9 hours of grinding down a piece of STEEL in order to make a knife! It was a really really hard day that was made better by an amazing cake at tea time given to me by Sonia. After all the knife sharpening Sonia, Catherine, Harm and I went to and Indian restaurant for dinner. It was VERY needed. My hands hurt so bad from rubbing the metal on the stone all day, and I actually developed a twitch in my thumb for a couple days. But anyway, dinner was really good and we took our sweet time eating it and chatting about Sonia's amazing life.

After dinner we met up at the Sesly Arms for a drink with some other people and then I got to go home and talk to Kristin on the phone.

The picture above is a little summery of what I got for my birthday. Catherine gave me the cute green mug filled with hot chocolate, Jenny made me the amazing origami flowers, Sonia gave me some Poppycock and Harm made me a strop with my name carved on it. (a strop is used to sharpen knives) The cool looking curly wood is the "ribbon" Harm put on the wrapping. It was so cute. All in all an amazing birthday.

Every night me Sonia and Catherine end our day with a cupa something. I usually choose a hot chocolate, Sonia usually has a cappuccino, and Catherine has a "malt beverage" that is traditionally given to children to help with sleeping. This beverage is called Horlicks.....HOR----LICKS. Is it just me or does that sound like porno flick?

Bookie Open Workshop

Every workshop in the college has an open day during the year to invite other students to come in and see what you're working on. Yesterday we (the bookies) had our open workshop.

It's basically an excuse to drink and munch on snacks and see a little bit of our work. People came around to each work bench and got to hear all about exotic things like Japanese hinge repairs, and crossed structures. I set up a sewing frame for people to have a go at sewing on cords which went pretty well...the finished book wasn't something to write home about but at least people got to have some hands on experience. All in all it was a good night. It's always interesting that people want to know about what we're doing because to us it seems so boring, but lots of people came around and asked questions and seemed interested. I'm pretty sure the free booze had something to do with this interest, they gotta repay us somehow.

Anyway, I thought this picture was great, and I figured it was time to start slowly introducing you to the people I work with, and now I have a picture of pretty much everyone. This is Patrick, a very funny chap who sits on the opposite side of the room as me . I took the Calligraphy short course with him last week and got in trouble a couple times for laughing during the lecture because of the comments he was making. So there you go one down, 8 to go.

Yooooour Daaaaaalaaaas Mavericks!!!!!!!

I took a chance and decided to visit the Mavs website today.....to my complete approval this is what I saw:I have never wanted to be in Dallas more. Mavs v Spurs! Mavs fans! Crazy crazy Mavs fans! I love you and miss you sooooo much.

Dear Mavs,

Kick some ass tonight.

Love,
Kristi

Show and Tell

I took a calligraphy course this weekend where I learned how to write the lower case letters in an old typeface called Foundational. I realized it's tough writing in calligraphy when you're left handed mainly because you have to write like you're right handed to make it look right. Anyway just wanted to share that with ya'll.

I would also like to thank Kristin for sending me a kick-a package containing Halloween candy, a sweet card, and my evening entertainment for the next couple days. AND it arrived on Halloween! Brilliant.

Kristin I salute you! I'm pleased as punch.

Skittles!

Last night a bunch of us went out to a pub in Liss and played skittles! For those of you unwilling to click through to the link let me give you a run down of what this rainbow coated candy game is. It's basically the father of bowling, except there are 9 "skittles" (or pins) that are wooden and you throw a much smaller ball down the unwaxed lane to knock them down. You get three rolls and if you knock down all of the skittles before your third roll the skittles get put back up so you can have a possible high score of 27 points per turn. (this never happens, but it COULD if you were an exceptional skittler)

As for me my first try I only got 3 points for my team, as in I only knocked down three pins, that's an average of 1 pin per roll. (I'm real good at math). Or in other words I suck at skittles. There were about 16 people on each team so that meant loads of down time between turns and the opportunity to fill up on drinks and chatting. By my third try I was up to 6 skittles so things turned out pretty well. All in all a great evening. I'll be sure to post more of the skittling pictures asap because Sonia got some good ones.

Dream Dream Dream

Have you ever had a dream that was so real you expected it to be that way when you woke up. Last night I had a dream that Megan was alive and that her death was a really mean joke. I'm not telling you this to make you sad or feel bad for me or anything like that. It's just that I haven't told anyone at West Dean about her and I can't bare to tell people, but I needed to tell someone about that because it was so unreal. Anyway, I woke up thinking I would be in Plano or at my parents house and it was so strange. Just had to get that off my chest.

Meet n' Greet

I figured all of you would want to see the people I'm always talking about, so here they are:

This is Harm:

Ok, here's what he actually looks like:

And this is Catherine:

I don't actually have a picture of Sonia so I'll have to work on that. There are a couple other people I usually hang out with, but I never seem to have my camera when they are around. I'll have to work on that.

A Trip to Fishbourne

Today me, Catherine, Sonia and Harm went on a little trip to a place called Fishbourne. We left at 10 am "at the dot" as Harm says and it was pretty cool. It is the site where the Romans built bathes when they were in occupation of England. I found out how to tell if a mosaic was made by a good or poor craftsman (by how big or small the pieces are), and I also liked that when the ground moves the mosaics move in the same way. So some of them have big dips where the pieces of the mosaic just followed the movement perfectly.

All of this was great, but I think my favorite part of the day was when we all got back in the car to leave and Catherine turns to me and says in a hushed voice "Kristi..." at which point she covers up the westsus and the .com in the web address on a bag saying http://www.westsussex.org in order to show me the word sex. I couldn't stop laughing. Man I'm immature.

Harold & Maude

This woman named Karen...who sometimes claims she goes by KG has a movie night every week at West Dean. (First let me just mention that when she tells people her name is KG all I can think of is KG and the power of three of Mean Girls, after which I start singing All You Sucka MC's in my head and stop listening to what she's saying) But anyway, this week we watched a film called Harold & Maude and it was pretty sweet. Maybe you have already seen this one, but I wanted to share this information with you in case you hadn't.

Here is the plot outline from IMDB:

Harold is a depressed, death-obsessed 20-year-old man-child who spends his free time attending funerals and committing suicide in front of his mother, but he does not die. At a funeral, Harold befriends Maude, a 79-year-old woman who has a zest for life. She and Harold spend much time together during which she exposes him to the wonders and possibilities of life. After rejecting his mother's three attempts to set him up with a potential wife, and committing fake suicide in front of all of them, Harold announces that he is to be married to Maude. However, Maude has a surprise for Harold that is to change his life forever.

I realize this movie sounds a little morbid and freaky, but it's hilarious. It's kind of a dark humor type of film, but it's really funny if you don't take it too seriously. If you can find it I suggest you check it out.

Enjoy.

Slip Slidin' Away

Well yesterday I finally got my lazy butt up in time to go into London. This slide is a current exhibit in the Tate Modern. It is the work of Carsten Höller who I believe is German. He used this quote by the French writer Roger Caillois who described sliding as a ‘voluptuous panic upon an otherwise lucid mind’. Höller askes these two questions about slides: How might a daily dose of sliding affect the way we perceive the world? Can slides become part of our experiential and architectural life?

Well Carsten I say h yes, bring on the slides. Had the queue not been five miles long I would have gladly taken a trip down the slides to see how my perception of the world was changed.

I love London. When I'm not there I miss it every once in a while, but going back yesterday just brought memories flooding back and made me wish I was living in the city. Don't get me wrong, I love West Dean...who wouldn't love going to school in a castle (I know I told you guys that this place is a large British manor...that was a load of bollocks, it's a fing castle), but I just love London. I love the people rushing around, I love the smells (even the bad ones), the sounds, the crazy things you are bound to see. Take for instance my dinner which I chose to eat in Kennsington Park. While sitting on my bench I saw three different men singing to their dogs, it was pretty funny.

Yesterday I managed to visit Borough Market, walk the Thames walk, visit the Tate Modern, shop at High Street Kennsington, eat one of Ben's Cookies, walk down embassy road and have Cafe Diana while sitting in the park. All in all an amazing day. And the weird thing was the second I set foot in the Victoria tube station I felt like I lived there again, it was amazing. I know you are all tired of me talking about London and hey I can't really blame you, but I love this place and if it weren't for the lack of 32oz Diet Cokes I might stay here forever.

Dear Readership,

This morning a chicken ran straight towards me pecking. I screamed and ran. Just had to share that.

Love,
Kristi

Church?

I received a text message from a girl in the Chichester ward on Monday inviting me to attend institute on Tuesday night at 7:30. I made a bold choice and decided to take her up on the offer and we made plans to have her pick me up at 7. The ride to the church pretty much terrified me out of ever wanting to attend this ward.

First of all last Sunday they had 20 people show up! 20! Then she told me that the average age in the ward is somewhere around 80! 80! As in 20 minutes away from taking the great dirt nap. She then went on to tell me that the ward used to be bigger but several people had died recently causing their numbers to shrink. (These are not things you say to a person who is already dreading going to church!)

So we get there and I find out that institute is me, Victoria (the girl that picked me up), and her sister....that's it. The three of us and Brother Kent, sitting around a table for an hour taking turns reading scriptures....which by the way I didn't even bring a set (oops).

The sad thing is when I arrived back at West Dean I stood around outside for 2 hours talking to a group of people that were hammered at 8:30 on a Tuesday night. I am very torn about what to do in this situation because I feel out of place with the alcoholics and the religious fanatics. Just had to put that out there. Comments and advice welcome.

Dear Jackie,

I think the winner is an American named Sara...her liver is toast.

Love,
Kristi

Week 2 of the West Dean Story

Well week two has come and gone for me and lots of things have happened, here are the main events of the week:

1. Monday and Tuesday we had lots of lectures and not much practical work. On Wednesday mornings the metal, furniture and book restoration departments combine to have a science lecture with the books tutor (aka my tutor), David. Wow! I haven't had to sit through a science lecture in a l--o--n--g time and man was it a little painful. One consolation was the fact that Rachel, a fellow student who we sometimes call "the knitter" sat there in front of David knitting a scarf or a sweater or something! Right in front of him! I would never have the balls to do that in front of a professor, good night nurse! Ok, just had to get that off my chest.

2. Wednesday I went into Chichester with Sonia in an effort to purchase a watch (because I never know what time it is) and a mirror (because there is not an electrical outlet in my bathroom and I dry my hair based on nothing but faith that it is turning out ok). After several hours of walking around I came back with a NEED to purchase the new Killers cd...which I later bought, a package of Hob Nobs, and a bottle of nail polish remover.

3. Wednesday night I went to a bar with some other students and listened to a live blues band which turned out to be quite fun.

4. Friday we took a field trip to Chichester Cathedral Library and we all got to pick some new books to work on. It was pretty amazing. I saw some of the biggest books I have ever seen in my life. We're talking bigger than that big dictionary that libraries used to have on it's own stand. Friday night I watched Everything is Illuminated with some people and once again thoroughly enjoyed it. I left a while afterwards when everyone started taking shots of absinthe.

Tomorrow I'm going to London alone which is ok with me because I can't wait to go. The question is what to do while I'm there...way too many options!

Excerpt from an email I just sent

It's weird here because most of the people in my program are older, there is only one guy younger than me and he was born in 1982, which is only a couple months younger. Here is a list of people I like to hang out with so far...

Sonia: She is SO funny, she's English but has been living in Ireland for the last 5 years. She used to restore old maps and paper so she's pretty experienced in paper stuff. She's 41, which you would think would be weird, but it isn't at all. She keeps asking me to say things like ya'll and partner it's really funny

Jenny: An american from Virginia who went to school in Washington, but I don't remember the name of the school. I guess it's a place where you don't really have to pick a major and everything is pretty free thinking...Evergreen? that might be the name I'm not sure. She studied conservation for a year in Boston as North Bennet Street School which is a really good conservation school in the states. She's 28 and really smily.

Katherine: She's studing furniture restoration and is from Ireland. She is HILARIOUS! She is always doing differend accents and her American accent is pretty good.
Ham: His name is pronounces Harrrm. He's from Holland and is slowly learning English from all of us. He is also studying furniture restoration. Sonia always makes him laugh a lot and he usually ends up having to walk away because he's laughing so much. We taught him how to say "lovely" on Saturday and us used it many times correctly...sometimes incorrectly.
Those are just a few of the people I like to hang out with so far on the course, there are many more but I can't go through all of them.

This is the place I get to go eat breakfast in every morning...unreal.

Well my first week at West Dean has come an gone and it went fast and at the same time very slowly. It feels like I've been here for a month sometimes which is really weird. I think it's because my schedule is so rigurous here. I haven't had a schedule this structured in a long time.

I thought I would share several of my favorite moments from this week.

1. On my first night here we had a get to know you cocktail hour followed by dinner, then on to the pub in the school and finally more drinks at my dorm....I'm not in BYU anymore.

2. I didn't actually meet any of the "bookies" as we're called at the meet and greet, I somehow got caught up with the fine metal workers who are quite quiet.

3. I started working on my first project which was to reattach a coverboard to a book from the Chichester Cathedral Library that is from 1658. And I actually did it! And pretty well!

4. We took a trip to an old used book shop to get books to work on. I bought two books, on called Christie's Old Organ (I couldn't resist) and another called the Cigarette Papers, we'll see how repairing those goes.

5. We had a get to know you bbq on Friday night. I gotta say it was the second most interesting party I've been to in a while (first being the gay party with Steve). As one of the few non-drinkers I got to single handedly witness the slow steady decline in soberness. The school provides 1 bottle of wine for every two people at the school...I know, it's crazy. Anyway, the drinking started around 7pm and continued for some time, I left around 11, but I heard people out until around 1 or 2am.

6. Yesterday I went in to Chichester in the afternoon and went into WHSmith, a couple chocolate shops, Army Navy, Lush, and the Chichester Cathedral, it was a good day.

Ok, I'm done for now just wanted to give my readership an update. I miss you all!

Cause we are living in a material world

Today I went and saw Material Girls. Mostly because I miss seeing these cheesy fluff movies with my readership, but also because I love Hillary Duff and what could be better than double Duff? Ok, a lot of things, but when your dad is out of town and your mom is at work and you have a huge gaping hole in your mouth you need to pass the time somehow. I was surprised by how much Haylie Duff stole the show actually. She was pretty good. And is she older or younger than Hillary? Because in the movie she plays the older sister.

Anyway, it made me laugh and even tear up a tiny bit at one point so when it comes to the dollar theatre give it a whirl.

Quick Story

My mom was helping me move the wicked huge tv box filled with my crap and she says, "What's this filled with? Shoes?!"

I dropped the box and almost peed my pants.

One Moment In Time

My mom asked me a question today.

And I quote:

"Do you think you're going to make it at West Dean?"

This is the moment I decided to go to England, become a kick-a conservator, and make conservation friends (who in no way will replace my American friends).

Side note: This makes me wonder if my mom is asking me this to make sure I'm not wasteing time and money or to get me fired up...something I tend to do when people question my abilities. Guess I'll never know, but if it's the latter it worked.

Another side note: The other girl from BYU that went to West Dean sent me a couple emails asking if 1. I wanted her to leave her cell phone, hair dryer and desk fan for me (H YES!) 2. She told me all about the amazing ward out there and how much she loved the bishop and that they are her English family (cough cough) 3. She told me she got a job at the Yale Center for British Art (HELL YES! That's amazing!!!!!)

Love you all. Miss you more than I could ever say.

Dear Readership,

I got home ok.

Love,
Kristi

10 Reasons Why My Friends are SO Kick-A:

1. They successfully planned a surprise party that I had NO idea about.
2. They HAND MADE Big Ben and West Dean
3. They were planning to go to Cracker Barrel BEFORE I even posted my blog yesterday....see, we do go there for any reason!
4. I was greeted by Jenny in a Big Ben costume...AMAZING!
5. Annalise made a HUGE AMAZING bowl of trifle...ahh the good old days.
6. My castle was perched on rolling hills of fluffy green rug!
7. There were TWO plates of various British goodies!
8. The castle LITERALLY had a draw bridge!
9. Jackie told me an awesome lie about a lonely friend who she texted a joke to...so sneaky!
10. When they found out I was actually buying chips and salsa Jackie called them and they all giggled because they knew they had got away with it....you guys are so funny!

Thank you all so much! I had an awesome time! I love you all!

Miss you miss you

Well my time here is getting short...as in I have 3 days left. It's amazing to me how fast 10 months can go. It's even more amazing when I think about how slow an 8 hour block of my day can go sometimes. If these ten months went that slowly I figure I would be somewhere around the 4 month mark.

Here is a list of things I'm going to miss three days from now:

1. Adam, Andy, Annalise, Jackie, Jenny, Katy, Kristin, Michon (notice those are in alphabetical order so as to avoid offending)
2. Poker parties
3. Watching the Daily 10 with Katy (I already miss that)
4. Scatagories, Georgia O’Keefe, and various other Halloween costumes.
5. Visits to Cracker Barrel for pretty much any reason.
6. Trips to New York with Jackie.
7. Watching Office, Grey's, Lost, 24, occasionally The Loop, ANTM, Runway, Alias (even though that's over), Jep, and all the MANY MANY other shows we watch.
8. Movies and PB on Saturday morning.
9. Craft Saturdays
10. Trips to Target for no reason
11. Bike rides with Jackie
12. Watching obscure movies with Annalise
13. Movie night at J & K's
14. Playing Mario Kart and having to sit 3 feet away from the screen because it's so big
15. Making books with Kristin
16. Picking names for Christmas and then trading for who you want
17. Quilting with Katy
19. Quoting random lines from movies
20. Having lyric knowledge contests with Black Jenny

Let's face it I could do this all day. I'm going to miss everything about the last 10 months, even the stuff that I hated. Because let's face it even the things I hate about this place can't be trumped by the fact that I got to spend 10 more months with all of you.

I'm a Mac

Is it just me or do these never get old?

Being Lulled into a Coma

That's what's happening to me. Just thought you ought to know.

Vagrant Cross-Dressers

Everyone knows I enjoy a good Wikipedia article. I often refer to the "resource" in my blog. If I don't know the answer to pretty much anything I turn to it. Yesterday I was looking up "white papers" because most of the businesses we work with refer to them and I never know what they are or why the are called white papers.

After figuring that out I discovered something AMAZING! Wikipedia has a "random article" button! (I'm sure many of you already knew about this) So I clicked it and the first article I got to was about Leslie Cochran. I pretty much couldn't resist saving the link and making a post out of this dude because the article gave me even more respect for wikipedia. Here is an excerpt from the article:

"Leslie Alicia Cochran (born as Al Leslie Cochran on June 24, 1951) is a vagrant cross-dresser and arguably the most locally famous street person in Austin, Texas. He is an outspoken critic of police treatment of the homeless in the downtown Austin area. Many consider him to be the epitome of the Keep Austin Weird campaign.

In 2000, Leslie ran for mayor against the incumbent Kirk Watson and finished second. His popularity waned in the 2003 election because of his platform to house the homeless in tipis.

In 2004, he challenged Jennifer Gale (another homeless transvestite mayoral candidate) to a debate at the University of Texas student union on the topic of who should best represent the homeless. Gale declined to participate unless given $50 of food from the Wendy's restaurant inside the union. The event organizers declined."

That is pretty much amazing! Next time I'm negotiating something I'm going to request $50 in beverages from Sonic.

The first time I had this dream I thought I was going crazy....the second time I knew I had arrived in Crazyville.

I've had this dream several times where I'm one of the X-Men. Not an actual X-Man, because I have no powers and no cool super hero getup. Instead I spend all my time running away from people with amazing wind producing powers and flame throwing abilities. The dream has ended the same way both times. I make it home and I get in the shower and then this pack of wolves (like in Narnia) come at me through the house and the window in my bathroom. This morning when the wolves got to me one of them turned into a dude in a Smoky the Bear costume. Then my alarm went off and I basically couldn't breathe. What is wrong wit me?!

Seeing Patterns

There is something soothing about making patterns. I don't know what it is or why, but I love making them. I love the idea of taking a letter and reflecting it or turning it and repeating it until it has lost all its letter-ness.

10 Months of IM Pictures

Unable to Swallow Properly

I just choked on my own spit. If someone died from choking on their own spit what would their tomb stone say?

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Graphic Designer, Good time Gal, Always hydrated

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Mario Kart Novice, Whale Expert, Salivary Gland Victim

Kristi Westberg
1981-2006
Taller than Bridget, Shorter than Adam, Not smart enough to swallow

Guster with Boston Pops

I was talking about this with someone the other day. Take a look.

Feeling things out.

This morning I woke up at 6am...not because my alarm went off, or the stupid kids down the street were launching off fireworks, or even because I had to go to the bathroom. My right eye woke me up at 6am!

It kept watering and watering and watering and I couldn't even open it. Missing work is not an option so I got up and took a shower with my eyes closed, which turned out to be a surprisingly easy task. Until I had to shave my legs at which point I opened my left eye and hoped for the best.

It continued watering after I did all the things I could think of to make it stop...as in I washed my face and put a lot of saline in it. That's pretty much all I could think of.

Two hours later it finally stopped.

Attempting to Drain my Brain of All Knowledge Through D-rated Movies

This weekend I hit my absolute MAX in cheesy movies.

I started the weekend off with this:


Later viewed this one:


Started off my Sunday with this crap:


Followed by this genius...who ever thought they could make an entire movie about marching band?!


And capped off the weekend with this gem.

Something I needed to put out there in the universe

People are so interesting. How is it that in one year you can go from hating someone so much that you contemplate buying a voodoo doll and using it to slowly torture them to hanging out with no awkwardness. It's good to know that that kind of unbridled rage can be watered down over time and eventually disappear.

Rejected from the passport photo lab.

I went to Target today on my lunch break to get my passport photo taken. When I told the chick what I wanted she said me that her manager had to take those and that she was gone for the day. Why would the manager be the only person allowed to take passport photos?

I found this confusing and in true Kristi fashion I decided to come up with a list of 5 reasons why only the Manager of the Target Portrait Studio would be able to take on this important job.

1. Has attitude...was rejected from Slurpee Heaven and decided to take out her wrath on unimposing people in need of passport photos.
2. She has a good eye for passport photos, it's her specialty
3. She has a top notch camera with biometric access and only a drop of her blood will make the shutter go.
4. She was named Target's passport photographer of the year and now the other employees can't take the pressure.
5. Her secret hobby involves photoshopping passport photos and morphing people into B list celebrities.

Well, looks like I'll be going to Kinko’s or Passport Piazza to get these things taken, Target you missed out.

Do I look like a pirate?

I took another fashion risk today and wore a scarf on my head. Not like a headband...like a do-rag. According to Katy it looks cute, but as I found out several weeks ago, some opinions can NOT BE TRUSTED. This realization has caused me to rethink the opinions of nearly every person that I know. I was feeling pretty good about this scarf decision until someone in the office looked at me and said, "Arg."

....now I'm worried.

Continuing saga involving "the crazy lady"

If you recall my March 8, 2006 entry (and I'm sure you all do), I listed off "Five Things I See Everyday on My Way to Work:"

Number three went a little something like this "This creepy lady at the bus stop by the creepy gas station who always waves to me."

Well in the 5 months since I posted that tidbit of information the creepy lady has only become creepier. The creepiness went from waving, to smirking, to bowing, to pointing, and culminated last week when she pointed at me and stuck out her long pointy devil tongue.

After that particular gesture I wanted to throw my car in reverse, take my piece of buttered toast and chuck it at her head. BUT seeing how she has been dubbed "the creepy lady" the rational portion of my brain urged me to keep driving for fear that the next time I opened my blinds in the morning she would be standing there pointing, bowing and tongue wagging.

Nevertheless I have come up with a plan that will enable me to get the last laugh or gesture if you will. On my last day of work, or maybe even the second to last day I plan to give her the old Janis Ian one two...for those unfamiliar that is a friendly wave followed by the popular French up yours motion.

Let me just say that I realize how pathetic and ridiculous this post is and that my JI motion will in no way effect this lady, but I'm the one that had to see her day in and day out and I'm gonna do it!

(Is it just me or am I starting to sound crazy?)

Check Yes or No

The blogging is going downhill; I'm the first to admit this. I applied for my visa yesterday, an interesting process. Several of the questions were pretty funny and got me thinking. One question asked flat out if I was associated with or participated in terrorist activities. Not to knock on the application process or its writing staff, but what terrorist in their right mind would check the yes box on that one?

Maybe I don't understand the terrorrist/terrorrism process enough to see a reason why that box would be checked. As far as I'm concerned you'd have to be the worst terrorist in the world to check that box. I decided to create a list of possible reasons why this box would be checked:

1. New to terrorism...don't know the proper etiquette
2. Accidentally licked the envelope filled with anthrax before you went to fill out the form leaving you in an altered state of consciousness.
3. Drunk after attending terrorrpoluza.
4. Trying to impress terrorist friends.
5. Accidentally checked "yes" while day dreaming of having tea with Osama in his VIP cave.

I think my blog might get picked up by ECHELON today...I'm a little scared.